Amie Watches TV

The current lineup

2012-01-15T17:34:00.010-05:00

Oh, blog. There you are. How are things? Me? The usual. Roller derby. Work. You know. But I have been watching some TV. Oh, and what TV? I'm glad you asked.

The big story is that I am embarrassingly too into Once Upon a Time. In fact, I have a date with that show later this evening. Listen, I haven't really been interested in this trend of supernatural/fantasy stuff lately (I'm looking at you, really, vampires and werewolves), but something made me want to give this show a try and I fell for it. Hard. I'm trying not to build up too many expectations that can't be fulfilled, but I am guilty of going down the rabbit hole, so to speak, regarding cast interviews, and I do a lot of lurking on the TWoP message board. (Okay, okay, I posted once or twice, too.)

I can let a lot slide, plot-wise, for character driven shows. The plot for this one promises to be quite convoluted and hopefully compelling, given it's LOST associated pedigree. But the characters are great, and the dual Enchanted Forest/Storybrooke format with two incarnations of the characters provides opportunities for appropriately over-the-top, scenery chewing grandiosity and some relatable and interesting semi-reality-based stuff, too.

What I really love about it is that the show is headed up mainly by three strong and recognizably different (from each other) women without being about stereotypically "woman" stories. It is fantasy, it is a little soapy and silly, it is dramatic, it has action, it has humor, and it is not filled with vapid youths. (Git offa my lawn, you kids! And take your vampires with you!)

I was a little concerned about how Disneyfied the source material would be (Hi, ABC!), but I like the balance the show has struck so far with including some of the darkness of the pre-Disney versions of folk and fairy tales and including the familiarity of the modern Disney versions. I think the premise, telling the stories theoretically behind the stories of the characters "we think we know" wouldn't work if it didn't refer to the versions most well-known in the mainstream, and like it or not, those are the Disney versions.

Other stuff I'm watching...

Lots o' Thursday comedies.

Other than Once Upon a Time (OUAT), my other obsession is Parks and Recreation. Amy Poehler is perfect. Adam Scott's Ben makes my geeky do-gooder nerd heart skip a beat every week. And the rest of the supporting characters are a delight.

This week's season premiere of 30 Rock was also promising. I'm glad to have it back.

I also am glad the new Up All Night has been moved to Thursdays for now. It may not be a show I necessarily make an appointment to see, but I enjoy catching up on it saved on my DVR on weekends when I'm folding my laundry or whatever. Christina Applegate and Will Arnett and Maya Rudolph deserve a spot in my rotation. I like how their take on parenting is goofy and sometimes a little clueless but never dumb or hapless or mean. They are the parents even those of us who are child-free still want to hang around with.

And I still enjoy The Big Bang Theory. I like that it laughs with its geeks just as much as it laughs at them. The characters have grown without blandly losing who they are, which is a trick I think a lot of shows can't pull off, comedy or drama. And who would've thought that Howard and Bernadette would become a model of modern relationships, what with her being reluctant to have kids and Howard easily going along with a compromise to be the stay-at-home-dad when the time comes for them to have kids, in the most recent episode?

As far as other dramas go, I think I only still watch Castle. It ably fills my need for a quirky procedural with strong characters and a healthy dose of UST. Nathan Fillion and Adam Scott may have to duke it out to be my TV boyfriends. (Who am I kidding? There's room on this couch for the three of us.)

I know I'm missing out on a lot of good TV. I still haven't caught up on Community or The Walking Dead, which both have been living on my DVR for two seasons. Speaking of supernatural fairytale dramas, I was going to give Grimm a try, too, but so far it has just been stacking up on the DVR, too. I haven't even tried Modern Family yet. Or The New Girl. All shows that have been recommended to me and I've read good things about. But a lady's gotta prioritize sometimes, you know? (And besides Walking Dead, these have all been broadcast network shows... I am in a sorry state when it comes to cable shows. At least I've caught up on Mad Men all the way in time for it to start back up in March.)

If only I could make a living playing roller derby and watching television, life might be perfect.

Achievement unlocked: Mad Men, season 1

2011-08-21T23:34:00.006-04:00

Mad Men really is mesmerizing, and produced in this way that feels completely immersive.

The storytelling is deliberately paced, and to be honest, I was afraid I wouldn't have the patience or attention span for such a thing anymore. I was reminded of an interview on the radio, I think on Fresh Air with Terry Gross, a few years ago discussing how the show ER changed the pacing of storytelling on hour-long dramas (a genre now largely populated by procedurals and high-concept mysteries). Having watched ER for the majority of it's run, I hadn't considered that, as my television viewing was shaped by it in the same way it influenced the evolution of other shows. But I reflected on having recently watched earlier episodes of the show and how the first couple seasons, upon re-watch, sometimes felt plodding compared to later ER episodes, with their frenetic quick cuts and breathtaking action (and later, constant "peril of the week" ridiculosity, like tanks and falling helicopters and several gun-toting loons).

Mad Men doesn't overly exposit, but uses language beautifully and otherwise allows the atmosphere and environment to embellish the narrative. The perfectly constructed mid-century mise-en-scène (see, I learned something from my single undergraduate film studies class) and calculated character development demonstrate how powerful, and to use the term again, immersive, serial story telling can be through television as a medium used to its fullest potential.

Oh! The design! Oh! The ennui!

The Hiatus Ends

2010-10-02T15:10:00.008-04:00

So, it turns out that I never did use the summer hiatus to catch up on more television and post about it.

What I did accomplish was finishing graduate school (yay!) and taking up a new hobby. You may have heard of it... roller derby? (You may not have heard of it, or realized people actually do it). These two developments are not entirely unrelated. The former has given me more free time than I've had in over a year; the latter has taken up all that free time and more. Both developments have resulted in me being pretty happy lately, but -- gasp! -- I've been watching less TV.

With the new fall season having recently begun, I've had to watch most of my shows by catching up via DVR on the weekend. Right now, I'm mostly sticking with shows I was already watching. None of the new shows have seemed compelling enough for me to add them to my tv schedule (which was already messed up with the moving around of Survivor and The Big Bang Theory and whatnot). Basically, I'm very stubborn and set in my old ways. Harrumph. But, I do take sincere recommendations under advisement.

I have recently taken up (finally) watching a couple of very awesome, critically acclaimed, criminally short series: Freaks and Geeks and Firefly.

I know, I know. I *should* have seen these shows long ago. I wasn't avoiding them on purpose, exactly, or because I didn't believe they were as good as people said. I didn't catch them when they first were out, and they expired so quickly, and by the time I *could* see them I was kind of overwhelmed. I didn't want to know what I was missing.

IFC began showing Freaks and Geeks a couple of months ago, so I plugged it in to the DVR. And it really is as funny and touching and well-done as everyone said. I've never been one to look back on high school with the pining, golden glow of nostalgia, but man, does that show capture the awkwardness of high school, or what? I suppose a lot of people don't like to use TV as a medium for resurrecting feelings of high school angst without some kind of soapy sheen or glossy veneer, or else we'd have more Freaks and Geeks and My So-Called Life and less Gossip Girl and 90210.

And Firefly. What can I say about it? Also very much as awesome as everyone said. Now, a lot of geeky references to it are clearer to me. I'm sad I'm done watching it and have Serenity ready to go on my Netflix instant queue as soon as I publish this post, because then it's done. And that's not shiny.

ETA: Oh no. It has begun. Even though they take place about 150 years apart, in different versions of the universe, my mind has started mashing up Firefly with the Star Trek universe circa TNG in a little fantasy alternate universe crossover. Be very, very grateful that I have no interest in actually writing fanfic.

More on "The End" of LOST

2010-05-25T10:45:00.008-04:00

I did not anticipate that I'd spend as much time unpacking my reactions to "The End", the finale of LOST, as I've been doing the past day, considering I was not a devoted follower and had no business having any feelings at all about it.

But now that I've had a day to reflect beyond my non-reaction reaction yesterday, here are my thoughts.

(My rambling reaction, with content not suitable for the unspoiled, plus how it relates to The X-Files and other general TV theory, below).

It has taken me a day to have some thoughts coalesce. I spent some time wondering why I was so unsettled after the ending of Lost. After all, I wasn't a devoted fan, and I went into it with no expectations or requirements. But, nevertheless, when it ended, something just didn't feel right to me.

I was having a very basic discussion about it with Shanna, who is absolutely a devoted fan of the show, and I was glad that she was happy and satisfied with how it all turned out. I think your satisfaction level at the end depends entirely on what you needed to get out of it. This also goes into a topic I swear I always mean to write about, but haven't formed into something readable yet, and that is that there are two general typologies of TV viewers with different narrative priorities capturing their attention and driving their devotion to various shows: The Plot and The Characters. If you are a Plot Person, you wanted more answers from LOST by the end of the evening. You were driven to watch to unravel the mysteries and wanted to know how every puzzle piece fit, how each pixel lined up. If you are a Character Person, you wanted to have some kind of emotional resolution for the characters you've grown to love. Each puzzle piece didn't matter, there could be unclear or missing artifacts at detail level as long as there was a pleasing picture to see when you stood back. If you were strongly the former, you were probably the most disappointed. If you were the latter, you were probably very happy with how it all turned out. Of course, there are degrees in between.

I also believe it is true, as I said earlier, that this finale was not, and should not have been, designed for the non-devoted follower. Shanna always said LOST was not for the casual viewer, and I think that is very true. In order to fully enjoy it, you had to be willing to engage in discussion and long contemplation with fellow fans. You had to speculate and come up with satisfying theories to sustain you, which may have been validated or subverted by the finale, but if (as was largely the case with the evolution of the end of the series) you did not get definitive answers to those questions one way or another, you already had your own answers to fill in those gaps.

Perhaps the loss in viewers the show experienced in its midsection can be attributed to this. Not everyone who watches TV also engages in in-depth discussion about it. A lot of people, like one of my aunts, were intrigued by the show for the first couple of seasons, but could not sustain interest because they were not the type to hash it all out online. LOST was a communal experience, and much like one of the metaphors of the series, was not really an endeavor for those going it alone.

So, why was I uneasy with the ending? I can live in a universe where there are smoke monsters and moveable islands and glowing caves into the heart of the earth/humanity. I like the mystery, and I like answers, but I can live with the revelation that those really weren't the answers to be found in that universe. After all, I lived through X-Files fandom, where there were bees spreading alien conspiracy viruses and even when they "solved" some of the cases, it was often with a wink to the audience (ie "So, this isn't an alien or a miracle, it is a highly improbable yet technically possible scientific anomaly.... or is it?!?! [wink]). I can accept that Sunnydale and Bon Temps look much like the universe we live in but have vampires and whatnot.

For me, I think there is just something that didn't sit right with me about the nature of the not-on-the-island, not-exactly-purgatory Sidewaysverse. If this is some kind of mental/spiritual construct we see from Jack's point of view, with the exception of creating pseudo-resolution reunions for all the rest of the characters for the VIEWER, why did all the other reunion-awareness moments take place in Jack's Sideways Los Angeles when he was not involved in them? Why follow them away from Jack's awareness of them? Was it so HE had is own subconscious, third-person omniscient creation of happy endings for those particular people as well (filling in gaps and re-writing their endings to get to where he needed to be)? Was it always a shared construct, so that all of their spirits were participating in his version of the Sideways LA, and he in theirs? Did they all experience it as LA, or in, say, Jin or Sun's version, do they experience it as Korea, but with all the spirits/consciousnesses of all the others populating it the same way they did in Jack's version? Can they all simultaneously populate these multiple quasi-purgatories outside of time without that awareness moment?

(Oh, Lost. You've done to me what you did to your followers all along: given me more questions.)

But, when I think about it, this is the problem I've always had with metaphysical concepts. If we have souls, what is their nature apart from our bodies? If God exists, who created God? What is beyond the universe? What happens when we die?

It isn't a storytelling problem (although some could see it that way), it is my individual problem related to my relationship with matters of faith.

I can't know these things, and a long time ago I decided that those answers didn't matter and had no effect on how I live my daily life. Once I accepted that, I was able to let go of the anxiety I felt over spiritual matters and felt a little bit more at peace.

"The End" of LOST resurrected in me that feeling of unease with the unknowable, (and to be honest, I was feeling some resentment surrounding it, too) but now I can, to paraphrase Christian Shephard, let go and move on.

***********

Another discussion about LOST I'd been following all season, to help me deconstruct a lot of stuff I was ill equipped to process and keep up with the season-long revelations, was the ongoing conversation over at the Slate Lost TV Club. The three writers are an interesting mix of those whose devotion was still strong going into the season and a little bit of disillusionment, with varying degrees of expectations, and a lot of insightful background knowledge.

As always, I have to point in the direction of Television Without Pity. Not the source I relied on for catching up on full recaps for LOST (though it is always high on my list for keeping up with many shows), but the recaplet for The End seemed like a good example of the kind of info-emotion-dump that most fans were going through in the wee hours after the series concluded.

ETA: (via Shanna) Another good analysis, sans spoilers, of why Lost works for some and not others, using The Bible and How I Met Your Mother (sort of) as examples.

ETA2: (also via Shanna) Jezebel has a great, satisfying wrap up (yes, with spoilers). I particularly like that it gets into specific, spiritual parallels of the non-Christian variety.

*******

Other notes:
Clearly, the masterminds behind LOST learned from shows like The X-Files. Of course, there is the similarly long-arc, internal mythology-heavy, supernatural-mystery storytelling, but importantly The X-Files was a study in early internet-era fan response. The now ubiquitous term "shipper" referring to fans who want characters on a show to get together originated from X-Philes wishing for a Scully/Mulder union. At the time, shows foundered with how to tell their stories while receiving instant substantive feedback from their fans and critics. Shows are now very carefully navigating that tension between their professional storytelling knowledge, their creative instincts, and fan reaction.

Also, I'm guessing they learned how to END a story like this from the poorly handled ending of The X-Files, which foundered when there was not an agreed upon end point before they lost focus and alienated a lot of fans. It was frustrating and heartbreaking. Even though there is no way to please all fans, sometimes not even most of them, I think LOST made some choices and stuck with them, and that matters.

FINALE LOSTRAVAGANZA (now with spoilers)

2010-05-24T10:27:00.005-04:00

ATTENTION ALL YE WHO HAVE NOT WATCHED THE LOST SERIES FINALE:
This post is a safe harbor for discussion of the LOST series finale.
There may be SPOILERS.
You have been warned.

I don't have much to actually say about the end of LOST. I feel overwhelmingly unqualified to pass any kind of judgment on it, not being an established fan of the series. I will say that clearly, and absolutely correctly, the finale was not intended to satisfy the casual or late-coming viewer like myself.

Linda Holmes (as always) at NPR's Monkey See Blog has a great overview which sums up the impressions that I got from the finale.

I may add more to this post, including links to other recaps, reviews, summaries, and impressions, as I come across them.

FOUND

2010-05-24T09:47:00.003-04:00

THIS DOES NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS ABOUT LOST

But I do have to say that I watched last night's finale LOSTRAVAGANZA (as I've been calling it in my head) and while the story itself did not influence my subsequent dreaming, there were very meta elements in my dreams ABOUT watching the finale.

I also want to say that I fully respect people's requests to not openly discuss, or even make telling, even if oblique, references to (either the story itself or the reaction to the story), the finale. I feel the same way about many other Important! Pop Culture! Moments!

But there is a certain kind of entertainment consumer who are total wet blankets on areas where discussion does happen, and those are

the overzealous spoiler police. Mary Elizabeth Williams articulates this phenomenon pretty well in an article over on Salon.com.

Bottom line:

1) It is consummately douchey to intentionally reveal plot points and story elements that are meant to be enjoyed as a surprise to the audience.

2)It is definitely inconsiderate to not take reasonable care when discussing such stories among those who might not have had an opportunity to enjoy such revelations for themselves, within a reasonable period of time.

3) However, it is also very douchey to enter what should be considered "safe spaces" for such discussions and rant about spoilers. It should be assumed that a discussion board with the topic "What did you think about [insert name of story] finale?!?" will, in fact, contain information on the finale, and you are a d-bag if you insert yourself into these conversations to weep and wail about how now everything is ruined for you forever because OMG the story is now spoiled for you.

I think all of the people I associate with abide by this etiquette pretty naturally. I just had to laugh when this morning, imdb.com posted a discussion question on its Facebook page asking what people thought of the LOST finale, obviously inviting commenters to discuss it, and lo and behold, someone a couple dozen responses down cried out "Don't spoil it for me! I haven't seen it yet!" To which the response was mostly "Then why are you reading comments discussing the outcomes, idiot?"

A note to Survivor(tm) contestants with big egos (aka Russell Hantz)

2010-05-20T13:33:00.002-04:00

Just because YOU don't like someone (or they do not like you) does not mean that they have "no social game".

You don't get to decide what that means.
Saying it aloud does not make it so.
You will never understand this.

Placeholder

2010-05-17T15:16:00.002-04:00

I'm just posting something here to remind myself that this blog still exists. Yes, I know that is ridiculous. I will also delete this post when I get around to basically an inundation of (now kind of irrelevant) backlogged posts on this season of Survivor.

But, I do have a little bit more free time, theoretically this week, being between classes and with work slowing down. I have several posts planned in my head, and some even partially planned "on paper" (ie drafts in Google Docs), about things that are NOT Survivor, or even LOST. Shocking, I know. I hope to get those out of my head and onto the internets, well... at least over the summer when there's less "regular" TV on. But I'm a big liar when it comes to my promises to post things, so no dramatic breath-holding as we await these posts, okay? I can't have that on my conscience.

Behind, and feeling left behind

2010-05-05T14:08:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted a Survivor chat since episode 6. And OMG finally stuff has happened! Perhaps I will get to it this weekend. The end of the season (May 16) is creeping up on us (like that crafy Sandra prowling around the jungle and eavesdropping while everyone else is scheming!)

I'm still watching LOST: The Final Season. Again, I regret not being emotionally invested in how everything turns out for each of the characters, especially in light of how the show is slowly (...slowly) describing the fates (...or whatever?) of everyone. I'm sure opinion varies on this even among the most devoted Losties, but I'm feeling impatient with how it is all coming together. I'm sure that there is this unbearable tension within diehard fans

between "OMG I want LOST in my life forever please don't really end!" (or something to that effect, which is a feeling I have had in the past for many a show, so there's no judgment there) and "OMG PLEASE just finally tell us what the fuck is going on!" Because I'm not fluent in so many of the details and nuances leading up to this final season, I'm finding it hard to appreciate these episodes. I keep wondering "Wait. Have we really gotten any closer to figuring anything out? With 6 episodes left? 4?" I hear they've extended the final episode by a half hour, though, so is that a good thing? There needs to be even more time to make it work? Or is that just a little bit of reward to the fans, giving them another morsel of what they enjoy so much?

At any rate, I plan on watching it all come together on May 23rd.

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, episode 6 (or: "1 douche gone, 1 amazing con" - Shanna)

2010-03-31T14:32:00.001-04:00

me: halloo
previously...
blah blah blah
Shanna: WHO WILL BE VOTED OUT, TONIGHT
ah
me: tell us, Jeff!

[back from Tribal where Colby’s ally Tom was voted out]
No, Colby does not want a hug from you, James. [James patronizingly offers a hug to Colby]
shut up
Shanna: yeah, because you have some weird love affair with james, Amanda [Amanda blah blah blah James fishcakes]
me: yeah
Candice is in a no win situation. She voted with the majority but they know she didn't want to.
Shanna: RUSSEL VS BOSTON ROB
DEATHMATCH [Russell confronts Rob about their “rivalry”]
me: dun dun dunnnn
whatever Russell
Shanna: did he just tell rob he doesn't have it? [the hidden idol]
me: he implied so
Shanna: amazing! he didn't blab!
me: heh
I sooooo want people to show Russell what is up [Rob totally is not fooled by Russell]
if it comes from Rob, that is the best
Yeah. Russell's plan soooo worked. I'm so sure he convinced Rob he wasn't after him.
heh. as if Rob even cares.
Shanna: russell's "watch your back" sounded like a lame comeback. Like, "Yeah.... you... uh... watch your back too! yeah! cuz im gonna get choo!"
me: exactly
me: lame

[tree mail]
me: tree mail was vague? really, colby?
geez
Shanna: ah, yeah, this is the "everyone goes to tribal" episode
me: of course

[Challenge]
Shanna: yeah, if i was on the villians i would be surprised too [seeing Tom voted out instead of James]
me: they are all surprised at that outcome
no shit
Shanna: woo, individual immunity [rope obstacle course thing]
me: weeeeee
please vote out James and Russell.
Shanna: heh, james is not going to do this at all
how can he
me: wouldn't it suck ass if he sat this one out even and still didn't get voted out?
mm, I want hotdogs. [the winner of each tribe gets individual immunity, and they face off for hotdogs for their tribe and getting to watch the others at tribal council]
there is a lot at stake here.
Shanna: DUN DUN DUN
me: oops, jinx, Jeff [hee. He said “there is a lot at stake” after I did.]
Shanna: let's mention tyson! because he is forgettable!
me: lol
blerg
Shanna: it's like he ENJOYS their pain
ha
me: yeah
totally
[James is actually doing well, it is noted, despite not being able to use his leg right]
this is because he can use all his upper body strength to pull himself through this challenge
Shanna: yeah
no running
me: blurring! [a LOT of crotch blurring of the ladies during this challenge as they climbed around this obstacle course in their skimpy bathing suits]
Shanna: go candice!
me: yay Candice!!! [She wins for the Heroes]
she wanted it bad
Shanna: yeah
me: ahh. hugging Jeff.
so weird
she almost left colby hanging
Shanna: now she has to do it again! in a few minutes anyway
heh, yeah, i saw that
me: yeah
as long as it isn't Russell who wins I don't care who wins for the villains
Shanna: LOL sandra
she's like fuck this
me: Jeff always seems surprised when a lady is in it
more crotch blurring.
Shanna: i am not crawling all over the place just to fail miserably anyway
me: I love sandra. she knows when to say fuck it
yes. go Rob! [Boston Rob wins for the Villains]
Shanna: whoa
me: russell is gonna cry
Shanna: that is a bigger course! [Candace and Rob compete]
me: showdown!!!
at least candice got more rest than Rob.
dude. this challenge is all about the ladies exposing their business
Shanna: yeah
totally
they have to not care to do well
me: yeah. they probably don't even know it is happening
note for future survivors: wear shorts for this challenge
Shanna: yeah
me: oh well [Candice loses]
I kind of want Candice to keep in it because she's such an underdog over on her tribe.
but oh well.
Shanna: yeah, she tried, i don't think they can say she didn't
and at least she is still in it for tonight
me: yeah but more points to her regardless if she won them food and advantage. not that that sentiment would last until the next vote
Shanna: yeah
probably not

[At Villain Camp]
me: hmmm
Shanna: Coach thinks he is in the middle anyway [choosing between the alliances]
me: so, they are trying to get Russell to play the idol while actually voting out Parvati?
Shanna: and he is, but not in a crucial way
yeah
me: blerg. it is a good plan, but... feh
Shanna: yeah
but it is fun to see russell squirm
me: hmmm
fuck. he's on to it. [Russell comes up with a counter-plan to the others’ plan to flush out his idol and split the votes between him and Parvati]
Shanna: ooh, it is kind of fun tho
me: no one ever seems this smart on this show.
Shanna: makes it more interesting
i mean, he is an ass, sure
but so are a lot of people
at least he is being smart
and has a decent counterplan!
me: ugh. how is this possible that he totally suddenly seems smart and has a decent back up plan?

[Heroes Camp]
oh colby. wah wah wah
you just threw in the towel. [He speechifies to his tribe about how he knows he’s the next to go so they shouldn’t bother conniving and scrambling and should just enjoy the rest of the day]
weak.
Shanna: well, he's being all noble about it (in his mind anyway)
i mean, yeah, he should TRY
me: yeah
Shanna: but at least they might not give the other tribe a lot of juicy info
me: now we will show some fake scrambling? [Something is afoot…]
oh, James. you have no use for a man who cannot win a challenge. whatever. [He keeps commenting on how Colby seems to not even try]
Shanna: oh Rupert
your foot?
really? [whine whine whine bad toe]
me: foot of horror!
Shanna: oooh, i like that they are at least CONSIDERING james
me: ooh
of course Amanda is sticking up for him
now is the time to get rid of that dude, actually.
hah. they are going to test him! hee.
[Amanda tells James that he has to demonstrate to the others that he is okay, by running a footrace. Also, she tries to explain to him some of the social niceties, such as not eating all the bananas]
oh, amanda. he does not realize he does anything wrong.
Shanna: heh
this is entertaining
i hope he does run
me: lol. I know.
Shanna: and loses! hah
me: and falls on his face?
he refuses to prove himself.
don't race Rupert!
Shanna: here's an idea! send rupert!
me: right!
for real
this is ridiculous [James ends up racing JT …]
hah. he's racing him backward! [… who beats him easily, while running backward]
It doesn’t even matter to JT.
they'd all rather keep someone who is trying than someone who is not, so I get that [so they are implying]
Shanna: yeah
but then, i think colby is just like, whatever, i don't want to have a stressful last day if it is inevitable
and after what happened last week
it must seem inevitable
me: yeah
I just wish James wouldn't always get his way.
Shanna: yeah

[Villain Camp]
me: ooh, Rob has a counter plan
Shanna: ahh, so now rob is on to the possibility of russell playing them
me: yeah
is Coach a double agent? [on account of his sort of promise of loyalty to his King Russell?]
he knows russell has the idol
Shanna: hmmm
me: please do not believe Russell
Shanna: hahaha
this is so interesting
just because they are really all playing each other so well
for once [There is a counter-counter-plan, which I don’t recall, and then Russell goes to Tyson for a counter-counter-counter-plan or something. I don’t know.]
me: oh, Tyson and his gay double entendres
Shanna: it does happen now and then
but it is so rare
me: it is kind of amazing how strategical they are being
Shanna: and fun when it happens
yeah!
haha, tyson's hotdog comment
lol

[Tribal Council]
me: Jeff looked a little stoned there
Jerri's hair is kind of amazing
Shanna: yeah
Shanna: she manages to make it look awesome
my hair would look terrible by this point
me: my hair would probably be a giant fuzz ball
Shanna: oh whatever, connections with people from the past
me: yeah. whatever.
I do love how Rob is totally trying to school Russell, though.
lol. Sandra is too honest.
Shanna: yeah, go rob
me: dun dun dunnnnn
commercial cliffhanger!
Shanna: hahah, commercial at a cliffhanger moment!
dun dun dun
me: :)
well, at least there's that
out of the way [Russell goes to play the idol …]
what? Puhleeze [… but FAKEOUT, gives it to Parvati instead!]
Shanna: LOL
me: well, okay then
DRAMA!
Jeff is loving this
Shanna: hmmm
lol
me: hmmm
Shanna: lololololol [and the vote bounces to TYSON because he fell for Russell’s final plan and essentially got HIMSELF voted out]
well played
me: man
yeah
I love how confused they all are.
Shanna: of course russell is now going to be MORE annoying
me: no kidding. fuck.
Shanna: but, awesome
me: yeah. it was because tyson was totally played.
Shanna: heh "i'm still pretty awesome" –tyson [Final words]
me: "I'm still pretty awesoem". gotta love that guy
I hate that now Russell has now proven himself to actually be able to play with the big dogs. :(
Shanna: yeah

[Now the Heroes come in for their Tribal Council and the Villains get to eat their hot dog feast in front of them, with some good natured taunting, and the Heroes whining about it]
me: Man, it wasn't their idea! but, heh. Courtney is dancing around enjoying her hot dog
Shanna: but he was so pissed at the last finale, he must get his comeuppance [re: Russell]
me: I hope
Jeff, don't defend James
to his own tribe!
Shanna: srsly
me: uh, and Colby, you pretty much admitted you don’t want to be there
doofus
Shanna: man james, way to be a douche [saying how disappointing Colby is and other stuff]
me: no shit
I love courtney's eyeroll.
she and eliza [from multiple previous seasons] should be on a tribe together. she was good at reactions, too, back in the day.
okay, don't they say tribals last hours? how come they were still eating? [as the Heroes wrap up and go to vote]
Shanna: yeah, that seems unlikely
me: that's a lot of hotdogs then
I am so hungry right now.
Shanna: aww
i am eating stew
me: I don't think the heroes gave away much to the villains, from what we saw, that they didn’t already know
Shanna: yeah
man
me: no votes for rupert!
Shanna: excellent [They actually vote out James!]
me: aw yeah
I'm glad that guy is out.
Shanna: me too
me: stop crying Amanda!!
Shanna: now for a douchy final word from james
me: right

[Next time…]
next week..... Rob now needs to gun for Russell even more, to prove himself better
James final words are not douchey. surprise
Shanna: yeah!
amazing
me: oh well
so, that's that
Shanna: yep
at least both tribals were kind awesome (in different ways)
me: totally
Shanna: 1 douche gone, 1 amazing con
me: hee
Shanna: heh, that rhymed! an accident
me: lol

LOST: Season 6 (The FINAL Season dun dun DUNNNN)

2010-03-16T22:04:00.004-04:00

So, I’ve posted before about my failure to watch LOST. I still feel disappointed in my effort. But, I did read and watch a few recaps (mostly the official ones at the ABC website, and some Wikipedia stuff, but not the hardcore Lostie websites and blogs with theories and speculation) to give me background to watch this last season. I really debated whether to watch this season as it unfolds. Technically, I know the gist. I know what’s up. But because I didn’t watch all along, or catch up by watching thoroughly and completely, I have nothing invested in it. I just don’t care about it much, but I wish I did.

And I know what it is like to be a devoted fan of a show, and how it feels when other people don't care, or just don't get it, or aren't in the same place as I am with it. I have had trouble deciding to post anything about LOST because, well, I don't want to be that person. I don't want to insult real LOST fans.

What I do know, though, is that the final season of LOST (dun dun DUNNNNN) is probably better than the final seasons of many of the shows I loved. (Fellow former X-Philes know what I'm talking about.) I hope that it is satisfying for you Losties out there.

This is what I do know about Season 6 [spoilers…]:

Juliet didn’t die until she actually did do the reset bomb thing. But... it did not go as planned…exactly. I’ve watched enough sci-fi, and I am transparent about my Trekkiness, so I get this whole “alternate universe” timeline business. So, the bomb both did and did not work the way Jack believed it would. In the “prime” timeline, they are stuck on the island still, Locke is not really Locke but is another embodiment of the monster, Jacob is dead but is guiding Hugo to guide Jack, and they and some of the remaining Oceanic survivors are “candidates” to “protect” the island. Everyone is still miserable and the island is still mysterious.

In the alternate, non-crash timeline… well… also, everyone is still miserable. They don’t crash, but their lives totally different and are still a mess, and their lives end up intertwined anyway.

Am I missing anything? (Heh. Of course I am. Besides a lot of the very well-executed references and callbacks that I’m sure I’m missing, and my lack of attachment to the characters I didn’t get to become invested in as they evolved....)

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, episode 5 (or: They should have just eaten the chocolate)

2010-03-15T23:03:00.004-04:00

And now, another installment of our very poorly punctuated, very poorly capitalized live-chat commentary of Survivor. (Note: Both Shanna and I are literate and not terrible writers when not chatting about Survivor.)

Shanna: survivor?
me: sure!
me: previously.... oh, why bother? Jeff is going to make it all up anyway
Shanna: hehehe

me: actually, this part is right. the heroes did scramble for the idol, and the villains did not.
Shanna: yeah, everyone agreed except for russell
and then cirie went home
me: yeah
and Tom's distrust led him to burn his use of the idol
Shanna: yeah, but it was for a good cause. better to use it unnecessarily than to not use it and go home
no one cares how pissed off you are Rupert [back at Heroes camp, regarding JT flipping on their plan]
me: OH, JT. You did it for you, mostly. Nice to have justification, though. [He explains to the tribe that he flipped his vote to Cirie for the good of the tribe]
Yeha. totally. [Tom playing the idol] It was smart because they were gunning for Tom. I don't think they are done, either.
Shanna: yeah. i mean, you can't be all incredulous when you just totally lied to people last night
me: OH, amanda. You seem to know what is up with JT, but I don't necessarily believe you will be a formidable foe for him.
Shanna: hmm, my sentence was sort of directed at JT there
Shanna: it seemed like it was directed at our conversation with the "yeah" and all
but not really
me: no, I got that. :)
Shanna: overexplaining! :)
me: better to overexplain than under!
Shanna: yes!

[back at Camp Villain]
now everyone is in on DRAGONSLAYER CHI
me: Dragonslayer CHI!!!!
I love it.
Shanna: hehehe
me: How hard do they have to work to not crack up?
that is discipline, I tell ya
Shanna: srsly
apparently they made the idol russell proof this time
me: heh
Shanna: unlike last season when he found them all immediately
me: he is not fucking subtle right there, though [his whole tribe is indulging in Dragonslayer Chi, and right down the beach he’s there digging for the idol]
oh, damn. he still found it? boo.
Shanna: yeah, i guess he was bound too
me: WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THOSE THINGS ARE MAGIC?? [Again, Russell’s all “I’m so powerful now I have the idol!!!!”]

[Reward Challenge]
they are all thinking "Oh, Thank GOD they voted out Cirie this early"
Shanna: heh, yeah
me: ooh, chocolately reward!!
Shanna: yeah, focus on the ladies, but we all know women love chocolate
me: yeah. blerg.
Shanna: damn
me: Colby is being a dick [He is sternly refusing Jeff’s chocolate samples]
Shanna: what is up with colby
me: they are afraid of being distracted by the chocolate? did NONE of the heroes take any?
Shanna: oooh, death glare from rupert
sorry, not scary
me: all of Rupert's faces are death glares
[the challenge starts, it is a physical rugby-basketball type game]
who knocked down James? I wasn't watching
Shanna: james is taken down!
i don't know
it happened fast, i was even watching
me: I just thought he fell down
did they sit out Courtney again? don't they always sit her out?
Shanna: man, that sucks that they are just short [James is badly enough injured to be taken out of the game, resulting in Heroes being down a team member]
me: even though James is hugely physical, stuff like this seems to happen a lot and he's not a factor
ouch [Coach got flattened by JT]
OUCH [then Jerri gets her face slammed into a post by Rupert, and Jeff calls the game to a halt!]
Shanna: man!
me: I believe he did not mean to do that. [Rupert says he didn’t mean it, and I am inclined to believe he is not “that guy”, so even though it was rough, I don’t think he meant it like that]
Shanna: yeah
me: but oh shit. Poor Jerri's face. [but she’s okay and the game resumes]
and she still scored teh winning shot
Shanna: man. it is hard to root for the heroes. they are just not great.
me: right
I don't believe JT would be heartbroken about losing James because he's such an asset. I think it is what he said before... it messes with his game. [the Heroes are agonizing over the potential loss of James as they are back at camp and he is away being evaluated by medical]
Shanna: yeah, agreed.
me: he's broken. unless they force him out I bet he won't leave.

[at the Chocolate and fancy swimming hole reward]
Shanna: jerri's face seems ok so far
me: ha. all that denial of chocolate discipline did the heroes no good. now they have had NO chocolate at all!
yeah. maybe it [Jerri’s face smash] wasn't that bad
man, at least the villains are all onto Russell [all but he and Parvati are swimming, and they all believe he has the idol, since he was the only one to look for it and, again, was not subtle]
Shanna: totally
me: ha. of course he's going to tell magical Parvati [Russell tells her he has the idol]
I hope she uses his trust against him
Shanna: yeah
me: a Parvati/Russell/Coach alliance is kindof intriguing
Shanna: man, he is doing the same thing he did before, telling everyone [then he tells Coach, too]
well, i guess just those two
me: so far...
Shanna: but still, he can't keep his mouth shut
me: is Coach smart enough and willing to use this to his advantage? it does not sound like it
Shanna: note coach says "ALMOST impossible" [to betray the trust Russell has placed in him by telling him about the idol]
heh
yeah, i don't think he is that savvy
me: he will believe he was honest and noble even if he does betray Russell
Shanna: yeah
somehow
due to dragonslayer magic
me: OMG this is hysterical. COach is HONORED and it plays into Russell's king delusion [Coach actually kneels before him and talks about how it is like he’s been knighted by Russell… sigh]
Shanna: hahaha

[back at Camp “Heroes”, which I decided just now to put quotes around because they suck so much]
me: oh, hey, the Heroes still exist...
Shanna: they are all so ridiculous
me: they are sad they lost.
OMG stop crying Amanda. [more agonizing about potentially losing James from the game]
Shanna: yeah, i didn't realize they were so close
me: he is not dying. this is not life or death. OMG WHAT WILL YOU DO???
oh nevermind there he is everythings ok then
Shanna: hero-y music
me: I love how they tried to make it a big, dramatic reveal [as he limps slowly up the beach, to the triumphant music, and everyone rushes over to meet him]
Shanna: ugh
me: it makes me hate them more, really.
Shanna: whatever
he also doesn't look OK
me: yeah, he's going to be a super big help around camp and in challenges now [in case it wasn’t obvious, this is sarcasm]
Shanna: it doesn't look like he can run or jump or swim or anything
me: which is what they say they need and why they keep people
[Candice refers to injured James as “dead weight”]
yes. DEAD WEIGHT. exactly. that is kind of the argument they ostensibly make about getting rid of people. they can get rid of whoever they want, but I want them to at least admit they are playing the fucking game sometimes when they do. which I think a lot of them were saying last week about Cirie, but of course the show tries to make it more about camp helping and physical challenge strength
Shanna: yeah, cirie being voted out was all about game playing. she is a threat later on and she is amazing at secretly running things. it doesn't matter if a person like that is the best camp helper or a great asset in physical challenges
me: not that I don’t agree that she isn't the strongest, either, but that isn't the primary reason.
Shanna: yeah

[Immunity Challenge]
me: challenge! on a big course that I doubt James can run through
Shanna: totally
ah
james will obvi be the caller [each team has a caller that directs blindfolded teammates through the course to big, block puzzle pieces, and then they all, unblindfolded, assemble the puzzle]
me: I forgot about Sandra being there. still early in the season I guess and a lot of people getting more attention
hmm... James as the caller by default is interesting. [not his “strength”, so to speak…]
ah ha. Courtney actually IN a challenge. heh.
I love blindfolded challenges
Shanna: i think they must sit courtney out every other challenge
that's why it seems like it is all the time
me: srsly
Shanna: blindfolded challenges are so funny
me: James is scolding them when they are wrong. it is funny.
LOL
this whole thing is funny [and not easily describable. Suffice it to say, people bonk into things and look goofy waving their arms around trying to feel for stuff.]
Shanna: jerri is much better at calling
you can hear her voice
james’ is too deep
i mean, his voice is
me: It is hard not to look ridiculous feeling around for pieces, with a partner, and not running in to others and pieces and obstacles
yeah. although at least they don't sound alike [the voices]
Shanna: yeah
true
me: James sounds like he is hurting himself
Shanna: he sounds super hoarse
me: like he is doing drill sergeant voice
hmm... let's see the heroes screw this one up [they have the lead getting into the puzzle solving]
Shanna: yeah, as they probably will
oh heroes
you suck at puzzles [and…they lose again]
me: I like Sandra's pigtails. they are ridiculous and adorable
dude.
yes, kick the puzzle, Rupert. make it cry.

[back at Loser, I mean “Heroes” camp]
What??? James injured is better than Tom? okay.
Shanna: yeah, whatever
me: I thought it was Steph's fault before. Now it is Tom. [James immediately says it was Tom’s fault that they did not win because he was not good at listening to everyone while they were solving the puzzle or something]
Shanna: i guess he has to say SOMETHING to try to convince others
me: Not that either of them [Steph a few episodes ago, and now Tom] were stellar, really, but I didn't see it being their faults, either.
Shanna: basically it is everyone's fault BUT james'
Shanna: yep
me: or Rupert's DARN BROKEN TOE!
the toe of woe
Shanna: heh
me: which he is no longer allowed to complain about I think now that James is practically paralyzed OMG!!!!
me: Dear Heroes: You suck at puzzles. In Survivor, you have to be able to DO the puzzles, not just get the pieces with your brute strength.
[Making the case to keep James]
Shanna: what!
they all believe this too!
me: ugh. of course.
Shanna: UGH
whatever
they are a lost cause
who even cares
me: totally
Shanna: just make ridiculous decisions and keep losing
so you'll be gone sooner
me: I mean, for the long-game? yeah, might be wise to get rid of Tom. he's a previous winner, so that is against him, but he is likeable and not useless, so he could win again.
Shanna: yeah
me: but their logic about staying strong to win now ... well, that hasn't been working out anyway, soo.....
Shanna: yeah
i think no matter what their strategy is, it will be dumb and not work
me: I like how JT just told Candice that the two of them are in control. As if Candice is in control of anything. But he knows what to say to people.
I agree. dumb. failure. not heroic.
So, its Colby/Tom/Candice. Everyone else in a majority alliance. JT possibly flipping?
Shanna: JT is the swing again
me: Oh, Colby. JT has won this game before. Have you? What is that? SHUT UP. [I don’t remember what he said but he was criticizing JT’s devious game play]
It probably will come back to bite him. But don't get all indignant about it.
Shanna: dang. they are all so annoying
me: I don't think I like any of the heroes.
I don't dislike JT. I don't dislike Candice but I don't see her long for this game. Tom... I don't dislike either but they'll never let up on him I don't think.
and I kind of hate the rest of them.
Shanna: i agree completely
i don't totally hate amanda all the time
me: Amanda just annoys me.
It is pretense! [Tom calls out James’ justifications for targeting him, and also Candice, because of the challenge, not because of alliance numbers, or what James would refer to as “craziness”] Now suddenly Tom and Candice are at fault for why they lost? No. they were all part of it. Not just those two, who they happen to be targeting. James needs justification.
James doesn't operate on any level besides having a reason related to challenges to vote.
[Jeff points out that James is practically unable to walk and teases that his niece could outrun James right now, and James maintains that even though he has a disabling injury, he’d STILL beat anyone else there at a challenge and so he should not be voted out]
I want to see them run a race RIGHT NOW to prove it.
Shanna: james is SUCH a dick
That was my thought exactly
me: Have them run a race and if Tom beats James, vote James out instead.
Shanna: let's SEE who can run the farthest, fastest. AT ALL
me: they are totally voting out Tom. because this show hates us.
which, like I said, I wouldn't have a problem with it if they weren't being such whiny lying babies about it, with their stupid pretense
OMG look at James' bitchface, too! [Jeff reads the first of two votes against James]
it was collossal
Shanna: ugh
whatever
this game sucks [and yet, they vote out Tom]
me: whatever, show
Shanna: what a dumb decision
me: I'm still going to say it every epsiode, this season still is better than the last one.
but, yeah, they are dumb
Shanna: heh, yeah
i want the next one to require them ALL to run
a lot
and james will fall and get sent home
oooh, candice went with tom too [showing the votes]
me: I would be less annoyed if ONE of them were shown saying "yeah, okay, James is not an asset now, but he will likely not heal in the next day so we can vote him out, and at least he will not be a threat for individual challenges later if he is still broken"
Candice has to play nice with the majority
Shanna: yeah
sad though

[Next time…]
me: next time is in two weeks and a wednesday? why?
basketball maybe?
Shanna: i think this happens every spring season
me: next time... Boston Rob goes after stupid Russell
Shanna: yeah
hopefully next time will be all about villians, just so we don't have to see the heroes as much
me: I am mad that Russell is still in the game. I want that delusional gnome gone.
Shanna: heh
these people don't know how ridiculous he was last season, or else he would be
me: yeah
I think that the beginnings are always very villain-heavy lately, but because the heroes suck so much we have to watch them for the rest of the episode figuring out how to vote. boo.
Shanna: yeah
[and then I go on to talk about how many gallons of blood I've cumulatively donated. I feel like the end of our chat transcripts are very anti-climactic. Sorry about that!]
*******************

If the "Heroes" didn't take themselves so damn seriously, maybe they'd be a little more bearable to watch.

Also, two of my favorite bloggers, Sarah Bunting and Linda Holmes, talk about the problems with this season of Survivor (and other reality shows) over at Tomato Nation.

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, episode 4 (or: Coach is even better than you at feelings)

2010-03-12T13:04:00.003-05:00

(This is last week's episode, not last night's.)

me: previously!
The heroes lost!
Shanna: they became villians!
me: boo! hiss!
Shanna: villians were heroes!
everything was wacky dacky!
me: yay! woo!
Shanna: russell didn't defect though. he was still a crazy ass
me: How is taht staging a rebellion?
Shanna: who hides machetes
me: I don't think Jeff understands the words he says
Shanna: heh

[the Villains return to camp after Tribal. Coach gets all sad about Sandra implying he doesn’t work at camp or something, and he literally cries on Tyson’s shoulder]
me: Coach has feelings.
Shanna: More than you
me: heh. Machismo. I've always thought that word was funny. [it reminds me of smarmy 70s guys with mustaches or with long hair and into tigers and dragons and kung fu… oh, heh… like Coach, but manlier]
Shanna: More than anyone
He was noble! There would never be anyone like him on Survivor ever again!
me: He is nobler and better. waaaah waaaaah waaaah! Challenged by a lady.
Shanna: KRI KRI
me: Tyson is all "um, whatever you say, dude"
Shanna: LOL, "COACH" him through it
me: lol
BUT HOW CAN TYSON COACH COACH?
Shanna: Oh Coach, one little challenge and you are going to quit? What kind of Coachly move is that?'
me: How ridiculous is it that Tyson actually is the voice of reason for anyone?
Shanna: for real. Tyson is not the person I would expect to be all reasonable and kind of sweet
I mean, he handled that well
me: indeed
I think this whole season is premised on showing us the exact opposite of what they have rammed down our throats about these people previously
except Russell
Shanna: yeah
They want us to think Survivor is full of surprises!

[Back at Villains camp, Coach makes a point to announce he is going for a walk.]
me: he doesn't have to be passive aggressive about it. sheesh. oh, wait. he's Coach. of course he does.
Shanna: People can AND DO change
heheh
me: lol
Shanna: I love that he thinks "Survivor doesn't deserve his nobility"
for real, Coach?
[Tyson tells the rest of the Villains that Coach cried over his feelings being hurt, and Boston Rob goes to talk to him to reassure him.]
me: I know
there is lots of hugging at the villain camp
Shanna: also, it really is hilarious that he is doing the least Coachly thing in the world by wanting to quit after things don't go his way
Any real coach would tell you to buck up and do better!
me: and would not waste all of his time memorizing warrior quotes [Last time it was a MLK Jr. quote, this time was Confucius]
Shanna: hehehe

[Reward Challenge! They get to pick out stuff from a catalog. The challenge is sliding down a slip n slide like course to grab a numbered ball and then make a basket with it.]
me: They haven't done the sponsored shopping challenge in a while. classic!
Shanna: Sponsored by.... Sears! [Okay, I read somewhere else where it was referred to as sponsored by Mervyn’s Dept Store… but we clearly saw Sears. What gives?]
me: no one seems to care that Randy was voted out.
Shanna: nope
me: It was a Sears circular! I wonder what the weekly deals were.
okay, i swear they sat out Courtney back to back the past few episodes.
but now Jeff did remind them they can't sit out the same people, sooo...
DRAGONSLAYER! [Coach wins the first round.]
oh, he didn't actually say it. darn.
Shanna: he should have! we need more dragonslayer references. there weren't enough to last a lifetime in coach's season or anything
me: exactly
Shanna: booyah, candice!
me: these slip n slide challenges scare me
Shanna: yeah
me: what is on the slide part, anyway? how are they all oily looking already?
ooh, Jerri was good at that, for a Bitter Old Cougar. heh
Shanna: i think it is oil, and they can oil up beforehand
lol, sandra did not slide well
me: it just looks obscene
Shanna: yeah
me: I mean, dude. look at Danielle's boobs. all oily.
I feel like a perv
LOL BROKEN TOE! [Jeff refers to Ruperts Broken Toe of Woe during his bout]
Shanna: i totally thought her boobs were going to fall out when she slammed on the ground
me: RUPERT KEPT THEM IN THE GAME EVEN WITH A BROKEN TOE!!!
Shanna: i can't imagine how they stayed in
heh, broken toe
well, someone had to lose
me: well, even if they don't win, they can go back to camp and massage each other with the left over oil
Shanna: lol
me: I wonder if Sears provided the oil, too
Shanna: perhaps! they carry many goods!

[Again, back with the Villains]
me: Dragonslayer! ahh, good.
the world is back to normal now that he said that.
Also, did Parvati not get to get oiled because she sat out?
Ha! No hidden idols without clues for Russell THIS time! [The clue falls out of their reward tools]
Shanna: maybe she oiled herself up in solidarity
me: heh
oh, that's right. a bunch of these people never played with hidden idols
Shanna: "it's not fair for one person to have an immunity idol"
really, sandra?
me: and Sandra is smart to just put it out there that it isn't as awesome as you think, because you do get "marked", but it has nothing to do with fairness
Shanna: didn't someone try throwing it away before, and that didn't work out too well?
yeah, that part of what she said is true
me: yeah. Wasn't that a few seasons ago? but it backfired
[the Villains collectively agree to not look for the idol, but then Russell “sneaks” off to “take a walk” or something, and they are on to him!]
Shanna: dude, you cannot go off on your own pretending to do something other than look for an idol when everyone knows about the idol and knows you are looking for it
me: I want them all to target him just for being the a-hole who feels like he NEEDS the damn idol
LOL
Hobbit on crack! [Rob re: Russell]
Shanna: hahahahaha
yeah, hopefully that pans out
me: they must be trying to trick us and get our hopes up [they are all talking about targeting Russell for going against the group decision and looking for the idol]
Shanna: pans
Yeah

[Heroes camp]
me: gasp
they had an idol clue for days and didn't know! [Who knows when they actually found it, relative to when the Villains found theirs, though... thanks, Editors!]
Shanna: lol, theirs was in the coffee
heh
me: as lame as I think the hidden idols have gotten, I think it is hysterical that they are hiding the clues in the rewards
and look at them, all scrambling for it. suckers. [unlike the Villains]
Shanna: i hope tom can find it if it will keep him in the game
me: there is no way to play this with finesse [the Heroes. They are not sneaky.]
Shanna: they are so funny though
it is just so obvious when everyone knows
me: nice! he is pretending to not find it! [Tom]
instead of declaring it
Shanna: oh, but amada saw
me: ah, Amanda caught him!
this is kind of a funny development
oh, Colby. do not put too much faith in the hidden idol.
Shanna: yeah, it is not that great
at least they know she saw, so they're not thinking they have this big secret
me: it depends on how they use it and how the others react to it. it doesn't guarantee anything if you don't play it right
very true.
ok, ready

[Immunity Challenge]
me: they just did this challenge last season [blindfolded people rolling a tribemate in a cage-ball, and then that person directing blindfolded people to do a tilt puzzle]
Shanna: heh, this challenge again
me: they must have really liked it
except for, you know, the other Russell almost dying
Shanna: yeah, as long as no one passes out and hits their head on the puzzle!
heh
me: Jeff has to explain it, since none of them saw it last season
Shanna: oh yes, it is an "honor and distinction" to finish [because it is the ONLY CHALLENGE IN THE HISTORY OF SURVIVOR TO NEVER BE COMPLETE OMG!!!]
really jeff?
that is a stretch
me: yeah like it is a big deal
I think Courtney likes sitting out of challenges
I think we need to hear more of her commentary, though. we haven't gotten much yet, and that was what made her awesome
Shanna: yeah, she needs to get snarky again!
me: this challenge is kind of cool now that we can actually see it without someone nearly dying
Shanna: yeah
they are doing well
both teams
me: so close!
Shanna: dang [Heroes lose again]
me: SEND RUPERT HOME PLS
no! not Colby or Tom! [who are clearly in a minority alliance]
Shanna: yeah, damn, do not send tom or colby! rupert all the way!
me: I mean, yeah, it makes sense to send one of them home I guess, but RUPERT FIRST PLZ KTHX
Shanna: yeah
me: Tom should just let them vote for him and play the fucking idol, and bounce the vote to someone else
Shanna: yipes, scary spider
me: ick
Shanna: yeah, but it will bounce to colby probably
unless they get some support
which i hope they do
me: oh, JT. don't think you can count on those guys, either. remember, this is Survivor [JT says he wants to side with Colby and Tom because they are straight-shooters]
vote out RUPERT or JAMES
because they are whiny babies
Shanna: please please please do that
me: Listen to Cirie, Amanda. She is wise. [Amanda buys Tom’s plea that he’s good to keep and he’ll share the idol, and she goes to tell Cirie that they are thinking of switching sides, and Cirie tries to point out how Tom is playing them]
Not that I want any of those guys to go.... but she is right.
LOL. rupert's face was hysterical there.
"what? I don't know what you are talking about??"
Shanna: cirie's strategy makes sense for the end... not as much for now, while they still need good people for the tribe
me: I think they have to keep a good balance of strengths. getting rid of one strong, smart guy won't kill them. but, yeah....
they could get rid of a strong or strongish not as smart guy and we'd all be happier, actually
Shanna: very true. but i LIKE them!
me: for real
Shanna: sigh. i think they have the right idea with cirie, too, i mean, she is very much a puppetmaster
me: yeah.
Shanna: i like her, but she is devious
me: it would be dumb to keep her around, because she is awesome at the social game
Shanna: she is not someone you can trust
me: she knows people. she reads them right.

[Tribal Council]
Shanna: yeah
oh rupert. shut up
me: ha. JT is one to talk about sticking to promises, since he betrayed Tom by voting out Steph
Shanna: heh
me: oh, Rupert, it isn't about rah rah teambuilding bonding. it is, but not the way you think, doofus
Shanna: yeah
me: hah. Jeff just basically told Rupert he sucked.
Shanna: hee
ugh, james [he complains again about the “craziness” which is all the strategizing and gameplay that is not challenges]
me: James does not understand Survivor
the social game is part of the fucking game, asshole
Shanna: i just want to eat food and play challenges! i don't want to play the social game!
me: it is not all challenges!!
Shanna: ugh
BOOO
i don't want to watch them do this
they are SO dumb
me: James makes me so mad. Madder than Rupert makes me.
Shanna: yeah
me: they ARE dumb. I hate the heroes.
Shanna: rupert is just doofy and annoying
james is a stupid ass
me: if you don't like how Survivor is played, don't be on the show for a third time, ass

[Voting]
Shanna: did they just show JT write Cirie?
me: I think so!
Shanna: interesting!
[Tom trots out the hidden idol]
me: uh, Jeff didn't ask about the idol
I'm glad Tom is just freaking putting it out there. he may not have needed to, but just get it freaking out of there
Shanna: yeah
me: although, now everyone knows he didn't trust them
Shanna: oh, JT wrote "C"
for colby or cirie
me: oooh
Shanna: DUN DUN DUN
me: noooooo!
Shanna: YES
in my opinion that is a yes [Cirie is voted out]
me: eh
it is a good move
Shanna: i think so too
me: I just like watching Cirie play
now THAT is a, what, Jeff? Blindside, I think
Shanna: it is a big, bold move that shakes everyone else up though
now it is not cirie running things
me: yay! he said it!
Shanna: hee
me: it was a smart move.
but I think it will make the heroes even harder to watch and root for
Shanna: I don't know if Colby and Tom have the same "running everything" power that Cirie does
I like her but I think it was smart
me: at least they are smart enough to see her as a threat, so they at least aren't that dumb
Shanna: yeah

[Next time]
me: Dragonslayer chi???

[Cirie’s final words]
awww, Cirie. they did get you.
Shanna: she did seem very surprised
me: at least in this season, people voted out early have a better claim to being ousted for being a threat.
some people tell themselves that is why they are voted out, but it isn't really true.
but this time, it is
---------

All in all, not a bad episode. With all the stuff about Coach filling up the beginning, you'd think there'd have been more with his game gf Jerri, but a secret scene at cbs.com show her "breaking up" with him. That Jerri. What a cold-hearted Bitter Old Cougar! Heh.

Also, I do agree that it was smart of them to get rid of Cirie, although I will miss watching her play the game. I would NOT have missed watching James or Rupert. I maintain that they got rid of Cirie because of her awesome strategery and social game posing a threat, but Jeff Probst believes that they made the decision in order to "keep the tribe physically strong" (I'm paraphrasing from last week's installment of his wacky blog on ew.com.)

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, episode 3 (or: Parvati Shallow - She's Magically Flirtatious)

2010-03-04T13:46:00.001-05:00

me: ok!
survivor time!
Shanna: ok!
me: previously: "the heroes were heroic, and the villains were villainous"... really, Jeff?

OMG Russell did NOT rope in Parvati! She said right after that she doesn't trust him but will go along with him. That is strategy, not being roped in!!!!
Shanna: that schtick is going to get old - "JT embraced the darkside because he PLAYED THE GAME
me: yeah. fuck that shit

[Heroes coming back from previous Tribal Council]
Shanna: rat!
growing mushrooms!
me: that was weird. the mushrooms.
ugh, James has no idea why people did not respond well to his attitude.
Shanna: yeah
me: Good for Tom trying to be a diplomat. [He tells James he could have been gentler with the way he handled Stephenie, but it is good things got out in the open, I think?]
Shanna: seriously. how is that possible?!?!
me: ha. JT and tom hug it out. I think they are realistic about how this game goes, though.
Shanna: yeah. i like them both. tom especially, i remember i totally liked him in his season too
he is just so good all the time
such a HERO!
me: Yes. It is damn naive to think it is going to be all fair and stuff, Tom. Geez.

[Villain Camp]
me: eww, who is Parvati snuggling with?
Russell?
why are they giggling?
Shanna: i was just going to say the same thing!
me: are they high??
Shanna: russell??????
it seems like it!!
me: boooo
eww, Coach was touching Jerri's hair.
like, in a creepy way, briefly
Wait. Isn't Russell married?
Shanna: maybe they had a big breakup and THAT is why russ was mad at tribal [lest season]
huh, yeah!
me: I love how Rob is the "wise observer" now. [he remarks that you can tell everything about people’s alliances by who they are sleeping next to]
Shanna: hee
someone has to be!

[Heroes]
me: Rupert wants to do team building. [He said he was hoping for a rainy day so they could all play games and stuff together]
I have a suggestion: fucking BE A TEAM.
Shanna: chasing chickens again
me: you don't need games and exercises... this whole thing IS that for REAL
bok bok bok bok
I think the chicken would prefer not to be chased, dude [I think Colby said something about how the chicken had a choice, to either stay still and be caught or be chased, and it was silly]
Shanna: heh
yeah
blah, rupert
me: chicken chasing = bonding
Shanna: "it was SUPPOSED to happen!" [I… don’t remember what this was about]

[Villains]
Shanna: blah
me: Whoa. Is COACH being the reasonable, wise one right now? [He is telling Russell how dangerous it is to be connected with Parvati and under her spell]
What universe is this?????
Parvati is charming.
Shanna: heh, totally! he didn't even say she was a dragoness who needed slaying!
me: LOL
Shanna: this angle makes coach's nose look really big
me: ooh, Maybe Russe’l at the last finale, even though he was married, was in a triangle with Parvati!
Russell, please do not call yourself anyone's daddy
Shanna: heh
hahahah
oh, parv [She calls herself sweet and innocent]
me: Ah, Parv. so funny
Shanna: you are anything but sweet and innocent
me: why is he talking about hooking up with her? ick.
Shanna: seriously, i really thought he was married
so, what's up with that
me: srsly. didn't he have a family at the last finale, which happened AFTER this season taped? shenanigans!

[more at Villains camp]
me: is this Coach's storytelling time? [he is telling everyone a fantastical kayaking adventure story of his, and other Villains are teasing him about it]
ha
Russell is now hiding the machete??? What is wrong with that dude?
Shanna: he is so crazy. he just likes to do crazy shit
ooh burn you like the astros! burn! [He also says the next thing that he’s going to mess with is Rob’s Boston Red Sox hat, and he’s all, to paraphrase, “boo, Red Sox! Yay, Astros!”]
me: isn't there really a rule against stealing people's shit and messing with it?
Shanna: what
it seems like there should be!
me: LOLOLOL [Coach is doing his poses and SINGING]
lollerskates
Shanna: hehehe
me: it was a Coach interlude
no one wants to share Randy's clam [Randy has caught a giant clam, tries to share]
aww.
Shanna: man, you know there is abundance of food if no one wants any clam
me: yup
this is like glamorous survivior, with the chickens and stuff all around.
are they eating it raw? [Sandra does take some, and Parvati does too but doesn’t like it and spits it out]
gross
Shanna: it is UNJUST when people do nothing! UNJUST! (I agree it is unfair, but that is funny)
me: oh, the injustice of Survivor!!!! [Coach going on about people sunbathing and being lazy and yet still do well in the game]
hee

[Heroes]
oh, good for Candice at least trying to make a smart alliance now. [talking with JT]
Shanna: strategical!
me: heh
JT was a big liar last time, too. [He goes from talking to Candice to telling Cirie that Candice doesn’t trust her!]
he and nerdy Stephen made up stories and backstabbed all along!
Shanna: yeah, and he is so down home good boy that no one really suspects
me: but he's a HEROOOOO
Oh, Candice, do you expect whoever said that to come clean?? [Cirie has asked her if she doesn’t trust her, and now Candice is going around to find out who is spreading such lies!]
Shanna: god damn. shut up james [He’s scolding Candice to calm down about it.]
your voice
is makes me want to stab you
me: totally
how has that guy been on survivor 3 times now. all he wants to do is play challenges and have nothing to do with the rest of the game
Shanna: yeah

[Reward/Immunity Challenge time!]
james is like, yay mud wrestling! i like physical challenges!
me: yeah
they stlil have luxury items??? [reward is coffee and luxury items, and also immunity]
they haven't mentioned those since years ago
Shanna: yeah, i don't know if they ever get them in other recent seasons!
me: wait, didn't courtney sit out last time? isn't there a rule against sitting out two in a row?
Shanna: they seem to have changes of clothes this time (and i think a little in recent seasons too)
or at least swimuits and regular clothes and some layering items
[The challenge is super physical, and basically involves knocking an opponent off of the platform into the mud using a padded bag thing]
me: ha. russell was housed by tom
they used to have a few clothing options in australia, I remember
ha. nice
Jeff, don't call him the dragon slayer!!!
Shanna: heh, jeff is like, we need to bring back that dragonslayer stuff. that was awesome. anyone? dragonslayer?
me: lol
do over! [There’s this rule where both hands have to be on the bag to win, and you can’t use other parts of your body to knock someone off… I think they were a little liberal with it sometimes but then made Coach and Rupert have a do-over]
Shanna: heheheh
me: ooh, he flipped of jeff! and jeff called rupert the pirate;. what?
this is hysterical
Shanna: DRAMATIC!
me: LOL
Shanna: hahahaha
awesome
me: ooh, Jerry v Cirie is a good one
aww, disappointing
Shanna: cirie is a powerhouse
me: Cirie is a bruiser, though.
that was kind of obvious
Shanna: i would be afraid to go against her!
me: me too
Shanna: woot!
me: I keep forgetting stupid Tyson is there
Shanna: the heroes need a win
yeah, i am glad he isn't important
me: amanda and danielle are indistinguishable right now
Shanna: although the longer [Tyson] is in the background the longer he will be around
me: true
Shanna: this looks SO painful
me: slippery!
Shanna: rob did some amazing maneuvers to stay on there
me: no kidding
Shanna: all for naught, but still
me: James v Randy? really?
that is silly
Shanna: lol
me: hmm, who didn't see THAT coming? [James knocks Randy off with one push]
Shanna: i mean, that was ridiculous [Also, James then threw the bag down at Randy’s face]
me: yeah
1) it was totally a mismatch in size. 2) James didn't have to smash him like that
Shanna: i love how they are like "randy, fight dirty!" and when james just pwns him without any effort (or foul play) they are like, you are a villain, james! [Courtney said James was on the wrong Tribe]
me: heh.
no kidding. very true.
although, how else could Randy have played in that situation? I don't think purely strength was an option! heh.
Shanna: i mean, he didn't have to smash him so hard, i guess, but i think that is probably how hard he hits anyway
heh
yeah

[Villains]
me: aww, poor defeated villains.
group bath! [Getting all the mud from the challenge off each other]
steroid sandwiches. how clever, Tyson
they all sort of seem to love bathing each other.
ha. Coach still says he doesn't lie.
Shanna: blah blah blah coach being all "i know what is up"
me: OMG Coach stop making sense. I do not want to have to stop thinking you are ridiculous!
Shanna: hee, yeah, he actually DOES know what is going on [Talking about voting Parvati out, and how he won’t let her charms work on him, although he does this while enjoying flirting with her in the water]
me: okay, he still is ridiculous. but less so sort of.
I don't want Parv to go, but they SHOULD vote her out. come on.
srsly. Parvati has magical charisma flirting powers
Shanna: but you can still be annoyed at him because he sounds so self-righteous when he says it
[Stategizing!]
me: Sandra looks good now. she looks younger than a few years ago on her season, doesn't she?
ooh Boston Rob was spying
ugh, Jerri, you can't go to the others to change their vote without having an alternative. Durrrr
[Jerri is lobbying to NOT vote out Randy, as the others seem to want to do, but when Parv asks her who she’d vote out instead, she’s all “I don’t have to answer!”… because she totally wants Parv out, who she called a virus during an interview]
Shanna: yeah, that's what i though too, about sandra!
me: Fakey McGee! [Parvati re: Jerri]
Shanna: hehehe
me: Bitter Old Cougar!
awesome
Shanna: lol
no one is honorable
me: oh, there's the old Coach we know and laugh at
Shanna: EXCEPT FOR ME
here it is
me: do not quote MLK! [Coach talks about honor blah blah blah fishcakes BUT THEN, icing on the cake, quotes Martin Luther King, Jr, who I’m sure just spun in his grave]
Shanna: meaningful quotes
sweeping, dramatic music
hahaha lol coach, don't ever change
me: I bet Coach compares himself to Rosa Parks in real life
Shanna: I WILL FIGHT FOR HIM [Coach re: Randy, not Martin Luther King, Jr. or Rosa Parks]

[Villains at Tribal Council]
Shanna: why get fire jeff?
me: fire is life!
Shanna: oh right
me: LOL
Shanna: FIRE is LIFE
me: I am choking from laughing and swallowing wrong at the same time
ooh, I'm surprised Jeff asked Sandra that question for some reason. [about the threat of preexisting relationships]
like, she is not one of his pets
is Jerri trying to say Randy is an asset for their physical strength? [she talks about other reasons to keep someone… and since she had been lobbying to keep Randy, this seems like a silly answer to me]
Shanna: lol, sandra's last move there, with the big wide arms, was hilarious
me: Ah, Sandra. just the way she was before. not keeping her mouth shut
Shanna: worst shelter in survivor history!
me: I love that they are having a "worst shelter in history" competition [Someone, I think Coach, complained about how everyone isn’t working well together so their shelter is so bad, and Jerri and Courtney are both all “um, I think we have endured even WORSE shelters”]
I love the way Sandra just lets it all hang out
[someone mentions being machete-less]
I bet Jeff totally is thinking "Russell stole the machete. Anyone missing any burnt socks, too?"
I like Parvati more than Randy, but it would be smarter to send Parv home I think
Shanna: yeah, exactly
random rob vote
me: yeah. random.
Shanna: looks like randy [all votes for Randy, except Randy’s random vote for Rob]
me: huh
Shanna: sounds like jeff stumbled over "hereoes vs villians" there
me: what did he throw in the fire?
oh, his buff
this episode was not as exciting as I'd hoped. oh well. last week's was way more dramatic, hard to live up to it
Shanna: yeah
i was kinda bored with it this week
ah well
me: next time.... Coach cries.
hidden idol. Russell is dumb
Shanna: and they are sick of russell!
and for some reason heroes think they should look for hidden idols as a tribe!
me: Wow. that was pretty crazily unanimous. no one voted for Parv.
yeah, the heroes are pretty dumb
Shanna: she is too charming to be voted out!
me: Courtney did a little dance when she voted out her old nemesis Randy. heh
I kind of want to be friends with Parvati
I don’t think we'd be real life good friends, but she'd be like the fun work friend girl, you know?
didn't she start charming all the girls, too, last time? like srsly she has magical powers
Shanna: yeah
she does have a cute smile and a sweet voice
i guess it works well for her!
me: heh

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, episode 2 (or: "One Voice... as long as it is a man's")

2010-02-25T10:53:00.004-05:00

Here's our live chat recap of last week's Survivor.

(In which, once again, it becomes a discussion of the institutionalized sexism of Survivor at the end. This is not a rare discussion. It is more observational than militant rant-y, though.)

me: hola
Shanna: hola
survivor?
me: yes!
Shanna: ok! ready when you are

[previously: Jeff describes the “Heroes” and “Villains”]
me: Honor and Integrity my ass, Jeff. [re: Heroes, of course]
There was ruthless cunning and backstabbing on both sides, dude. You can't win without it.
The villains were just more obnoxious, generally.
Shanna: Yeah, as shown three seconds later when JT is making multiple alliances.
Which, you know, is part of the game.
me: right. and that was how JT won the first time around!!
Shanna: Yeah!
me: Jeff always rewrites the story during the recaps.
Shanna: And Coach made "gallant" advances towards Jerri? That's what that was?
me: Likeability has nothing to do with backstabbing, really.
"Gallant" .... yeah. "dorky" maybe
Shanna: I thought they were dorky, totally
me: and you know what? the tribe voted out Sugar not because she was solely responsible for teh challenge loss but because she was annoying!

[back at Camp Villain]
me: Jerry and "Coach" bonding
he totally seems more "normal" right now
when he's not posing and crap
Shanna: It's pretty bad if people who have been there before and know how bad it can get are complaining a lot by day 4
me: well, because "villains" are apparently lazy and do no cooperate
heh
Shanna: Why are they creating and recreating and recreating the shelter?
me: because they are stupid
ooh, foreshadowing [about Boston Rob working so hard he will drop dead or something]
Shanna: Hmm, foreshadowing, Courtney?
lol
me: LOL
I love their bickering
triumphant heroes!! [the music reminds us how heroic it is at the Heroes camp]
Shanna: (I am trying to write more complete sentences, for the GOOD OF THE INTERNET!)
me: ha! don't worry about that.
Shanna: Yeah, triumphant heroes who had to go to tribal first!
me: the internet can suck it
Shanna: not exactly that triumphant
me: for serious
ooh, Rupert is conniving against Steph!
THAT IS NOT WHAT HEROES DO!!
according to Jeff.
who makes up the survivor narrative after the fact
lol. I love how Steph just looked crazy batting bugs away for second.
I'm kind of glad Steph is calling it out that Rupert is playing up the good guy bit
Shanna: Yeah, it is going to be easy for the villains to live up to their stereotype... the heroes, not so much. unless they all wind up going home before the merge! i mean, to be a winner in survivor, you have to do SOME of the villain things
me: right
Shanna: otherwise you most likely won't make it

[Villain Camp, Boston Rob is trying to get his tribe to work together]
me: boston Rob, you know there are no diplomats allowed on the VILLAINS tribe!!
dun dun dunnnn
dramatic camera trickery! [as Rob collapses, which we don’t really see, there is a fakey “Rob’s POV” shot]
Shanna: so, he just collapsed in the jungle?
me: so they would make it seem....
WTF
Shanna: oh man, you know it is bad if the person says "get help"
me: this is ridiculous
Shanna: i mean, they never want help
me: no kidding.
but WTH? Jerri is all "please open your eyes!"
Shanna: wtf!
me: hmmm
Shanna: man, what could have happened to him
me: Jeff looked like he was going to cry! [as they preview what is to come after the commercial]
me: Jeff does not want to see Rob suffer!
Shanna: wait, no commercial?
me: no, it was a commercial, but before that they showed a little preview with Jeff and the medics... did you see that part? [there were some technical difficulties with our recordings]
Shanna: all i saw was them flashing the light in his eyes, jeff saying "can you hear me" and then it went to a "up next" thing and rob couldn't drink properly and he said "i think.... it's getting the best of me"
me: ok. yeah. that part.
Shanna: did Jeff say "i don't want to see you suffer"?
i don't think i saw that
me: no. I made that part up.
Shanna: ahhhhh
confusion on MY part
heh
ok
me: because jeff looked so upset!
me: so, he's not dying, like the dudes from last season? that's good.
but I don't think being unconscious is a good sign
aww, he's apologizing to Jeff. He's not being a good villain.
Shanna: What??
He's like, I love and respect it too much!
me: lol
ha. he came to the conclusion I did. he's got to just own being on the villain tribe. I still don't think he's as much a villain as some of those other dickheads
He and Jeff should hug it out.
aww, the other dudes ARE hugging him. there is a lot of villain love.
maybe they will appreciate him more now.
Shanna: yeah, he was just kind of cocky, not really villainous
me: and, you know, considering how useful and strategic he is, he's one of the few who at least sort of deserves to be a little cocky

[Challenge time!]
Shanna: yeah
i remember this challenge [moving giant blocks on a course and then assembling them in a puzzle/staircase]
me: yeah, me too.
Shanna: so, no reward challenge
oh, ok
this IS reward
and immunity
me: hmmm
Courtney's all "woo hoo, I'm sitting out!"
Shanna: pause!
me: OMG RUPERT SHUT UP
ok. paused
Shanna: ok, where are you, what just happened?
john is switching to another recording
because this one is terrible
me: Rupert was whining about sitting out because of his broken toe and they are about to start the challenge.
Shanna: i heard rupert say "i don't think i can run as fast" and then it jumped ahead a bunch.
me: ok.
Shanna: so that's basically where you are
right?
me: like right there is where I am, yeah
me: ooh, I like when we hear them strategize about the challenge
Shanna: go heroes go!
me: is "strategize" a word? it keeps looking wrong and gets the spell check squiggle
Shanna: i feel like i have to root for heroes, even though i like a few of the "villians" too
me: yeah.
me too
I think currently my favorites are villains, though, but I still want to root for the heroes
Shanna: strategize... yeah, i get the squiggle too, but Mw.com says it is a word
me: heh. ok.
I like how coach and jerri were totally paired up, too. like this is a thing.
oh shit. Parv got nailed in the face
Shanna: ow, that box SLAMMED parvati in the face
she recovered quickly though
me: I bet she doesn't whine about her busted face like rupert and his toe
Shanna: might bruise though!
haha
me: heh. I love how they all are ripping on Rupert and his toe, too
Shanna: amanda, smashed between the boxes!
they are getting beat up!
me: no kidding
don't drop the boxes on people!
Shanna: man, they suck at this
me: Jeff is so disappointed with the heroes
Shanna: ow!
dang, so much pain
me: go Rob. [hoisting a giant block up on his back basically by himself]
Shanna: this doesn't seem like it should be so hard to figure out. i mean, lifting, yes, that is hard
but dudes
me: I Love this [the Heroes are bickering]
Shanna: why can't you figure out the word "HEROES"
me: we never get to see the fighting [during challenges, to this degree anyway]
you know it has to happen more, but we never see it.
Shanna: yeah
[Heroes lose, James is all pissed off about how they didn’t all just silently follow JT, who they had sort of appointed leader for the challenge since he’d done it before]
me: James likes to be a follower. sometimes that's good. someone has to follow. but come on.
Shanna: true
me: LOSE RUPERT
PLEASE
how is Steph the problem if she was the only one who Survived her tribe?
[back at Heroes Camp, James is plotting against Steph, justifying it by the fact that on her first season she was the only one left on her Tribe]
Shanna: um, james, most of the time they don't let it go that far. they did it that one season, but they don't usually let it get down to one - they shake it up somehow
and yeah, i agree, she is not the problem if she survived
me: he just is threatened by strong women
Shanna: yeah
i wish they would lose rupert too
he is annoying
they keep saying he is a fan favorite, but i don't believe it!
me: no kidding.
Shanna: he is whiny and not cute and cheerful like he was at the beginning of his season
me: they said that before and bah whatever. srsly
me: I mean, sometimes they should butt out of the puzzle solving and follow someone. but sometimes others have another perspective that is better than the "leader" during a challenge. you can't ignore that.
Shanna: man, james is having a FIT [now he’s literally yelling at Steph at camp for their challenge loss]
me: um, James? you've only lost twice. that's not a lot so far. [He says he’s never lost so much in his life]
that was an anti-pep talk
Shanna: yeah, he is not exactly losing constantly. and i imagine they must have lose SOME challenges in his season
me: look at how they all have to hold their tongues so they don’t come across as non-heroic meanies.

[Villain Camp]
ooh, villain chickens
Shanna: oooh, Russell is threatened by Boston Rob
me: why is he chasing it with a spear
well, he got it. ? [there are “wild” chickens, and Russell literally chases them with a spear, and he comes back with a chicken, but we don’t actually see him capture/kill the chicken…]
Shanna: yeah. but, fish ARE "real food" [and he was saying how before they only had fish which wasn’t “real” food]
i mean, chicken is good
me: yeah
Shanna: but fish is too

[Heroes Camp]
ugh, James, get off this "steph is terrible" thing
it is not her fault
me: James is totally going after Steph. wtf. like it is her fault. also, she did a second Surivvor and did better, right?
Shanna: damn, shut up about it
yeah, she did
me: he needs to stfu
GET RID OF RUPERT!
Shanna: oooh, JT is sad to lose his two-timing alliances!
me: OMG STFU RUPERT AND YOUR MARTYR COMPLEX
it is not your fault for not pushing harder to be in the challenge. well, you didn't push, for one,and also IT DIDN'T MATTER
[Amanda is suggested as someone to boot]
Shanna: so, wait, why does amanda have to go? just because she's the least "strong" person on the other alliance who they think they can't convert?
i mean, not that she has to go, just that that is who tom said should go instead of steph
me: I think because she has a lot of alliance buddies and stuff? I didn't really get that either.
I think she should go because I never really liked her. heh.
Shanna: yeah, i guess there is probably more reason that they are just not showing us because it's not that important
heh
i don't mind her
i mean, at this point i am more annoyed with rupert or james
me: and even though Steph got cocky her second season, I don’t think she deserves to be targeted right now so they should vote out someone else! and Amanda is boring to me.
Shanna: but they would never get rid of james
yeah. steph has really not done anything yet to deserve this
me: I'd rather it be stupid James or Rupert to go, both of whom I've never understood the total love for them
Shanna: james just has a thing against her
yeah
Shanna: i remember james getting super annoying the first time around too
me: right. like at first, I liked James. and the world fell in love with him, too. but then everyone else ignored how annoying and sexist he was!
Shanna: yeah, exactly
me: Candace is on the bottom of either alliance because she is kind of a nobody in this season
Shanna: i love how there are clear, fairly even sides already
i mean, it's like a week in
not even
me: yeah
it is hard to root for anyone in particular on this tribe... I usually root for the thinkers, and they are all doing a pretty good job of not being idiots about all this
Shanna: yeah
me: ooh, suspense!
Shanna: i like cirie's practicality [teaming up with Candace, who assumed Cirie was tight with former tribemates James and Amanda, but Cirie points out that Amanda had to betray her in the end…]
me: no kidding. that is part of what makes her awesome
Shanna: "as long as it's not one of us", i basically don't give a fuck
Heh

[Tribal Council]
me: oh, JT, you know they are not holding you responsible for this. [he pretends that, as the pseudo leader, he is accountable for the loss]
Shanna: blah blah blah "one voice"
oh james
me: one voice = apple this time
Shanna: damn, he is an ASS
me: James is an idiot
Shanna: "it's not about you, no matter how much you want it to be" [James to Steph when she tries to defend herself against him]
me: does he believe she is jinxed or something? [then he blames it all on her, bringing up being last on her tribe her first season, and basically saying it IS all about her]
this is exactly how he did it last time, too.
Shanna: ok, dude, YOU are the one who made it about her
me: attacking and then denying
Shanna: thank you, Colby [he stands up for Steph!]
me: NICE
I love this.
Shanna: this is awesome
AWESOME
me: THANK YOU, TOM, FOR CALLING HIM OUT [Tom defends her, too]
He [James] is a bully.
Shanna: dang
it would be the best thing ever to lose james tonight
i mean, for awesomeness
me: no kidding
Shanna: not for physical challenges,
but who cares!
me: but they didn't even mention him, and so it is not happening
Shanna: they are fine with the initial physical stuff so far
they die on puzzles
which don't require MUSCLES
yeah
sadly
[the threats of previous affiliations/alliances are discussed]
me: this is the thing, too... even those who played together have had to betray each other, even though they worked well together.
Shanna: yeah
me: there is only one winner each season... so....
Shanna: they are not all besties just because they had a season together
me: I was just about to say that exactly!
it bothers me that they are targeting amanda as an alternative, though, instead of one of these loser dudes, like James (who is a bully) and Rupert (who is useless and whiny)
Shanna: haha
me: it is this institutionalized sexism again
Shanna: yeah
i hate that rupert didn't even come up
me: why are the options always women at the beginning? unless there is something egregious
Shanna: yeah
me: god I can't even stand to look at James
Shanna: yeah, he is only going to get worse
me: it is totally unfair he gets away with being that way and it is down to Steph and Amanda for no good reasons!!
Shanna: i hope it's amanda just so he doesn't get his way
Booo [but it is Steph voted out]
me: blerg
yeah.
I wished it was Amanda just so James doesn't win this one, too.
Shanna: oh my f-ing god
James [Steph addresses the Tribe, and James attacks her again!]
me: I wish Steph was all "FUCK YOU"
Shanna: is
a
DICK
me: I guess at least this time around you could argue that Steph and Amanda are targeted because they both made it far TWICE, so they are threats. unlike other season where it feels like women are the default early boots
but, yeah,
like, I'm glad Colby and Tom stuck up for Steph, but also, I hate that they had to.
and I know it isn't exactly this, but the caretaker men had to defend her, and that is so uncool that that was necessary
it would have been cooler if a woman stood up for her, too
you know?
Shanna: yeah, totally - it does suck that no women stood up for her. although i guess they all voted against her
me: even so, it was mostly strategic, and not personal... if I were one of them, I'd hope I'd have said something, because him attacking her had nothing to really do with the vote [I’m hoping maybe they did, but it wasn’t shown]
Shanna: yeah
me: if I were on Survivor, I wonder if I'd be able to not get myself in trouble calling that shit out. I would not be long for the game, I think (well, for that and a thousand other reasons)
but I totally would probably come across as the crazy feminist lady
Shanna: yeah, but you know there'd be a big contingent of women watching that would be rooting for that!
me: I kind of wonder why we don't see more of that
you see hints of it every once in a while, I think more so in earlier seasons.... but it never really comes out
I'm just remembering how angry James made us in the past, too. how he totally spoke to women in ways he would not speak to men.
I bet we could go back and read the chats from his earlier seasons and see that
and I bet in real life, he's one of those guys who comes across as polite to women, because he's raised to treat them a certain way generically, like holding doors and saying "ma'am" and stuff, but in situations where they challenge him, he is condescending and rude, and then you reinterpret his previous politeness as patronizing
Shanna: totally
i'd say that sums up his whole relationship with women
me: I am afraid for next episode, where they show everyone kind of ganging up against him for being so out of control and "brutish" I think was the word used.
not only does it seem like he's going to be even more of an asshole, I'm afraid of the possible racist readings of it, even if it is totally based on his behavior.
Shanna: yeah
me: I don't think it will go unnoticed how this season does not represent minorities well. even the selections from the "race wars" [Cook Islands, when they started out divided by race] (heh) season are white!
Shanna: heh
me: according to wikipedia, they did ask Yau-Man back but he declined. also, evil Corrine from the Gabon season had to turn down the offer because of work, and crazy Shane was replaced by stupid Russell from last season!
Shanna: ahh
nice to know that russell wasn't in their original plan
well, i guess, how could he be
but still
me: well, I guess they left the option to swap out someone from Samoa at the time

Thus, we end our discussion of episode 2 of Heroes vs. Villains! (Pretty anti-climactic, huh?)

Yes. I am one of the 16 people who still watch Survivor.

2010-02-19T14:20:00.008-05:00

I have been watching Survivor for the past 10 years.

When it first came on, I was a little put off by it. I thought it was gimmicky and stupid, but since it first aired in the summer, when there was relatively little of interest new on TV, I watched it casually and I had to admit it was a little bit interesting. When the second season came on (Australia), I was back at college and my roommates wanted to watch, so it became part of our weekly Thursday night TV ritual.

I graduated college and decided that without my roommies watching with me, I would give up on Survivor, so I did not watch for a couple of seasons. But, eventually, something brought me back to it. Then, my friend Shanna became a regular watcher, and we decided to watch and discuss it together. Over the years, I moved away, then moved back to town, and she moved away, but we kept up our tradition of watching Survivor "together" via the wonders of the internet. We watch together every week (sometimes when it is first broadcast, sometimes time-shifted due to scheduling), and chat online with our comments and observations. A couple of years ago, we started sharing these chats with members of another, private online community, for our amusement (let's face it, random, stream-of-consciousness observations about episodes of Survivor are not everyone's cup o' tea).

Today, I am starting an experiment: Sharing our chats with you, the rest of the internet.

Behold our random, poorly typed/edited SURVIVOR CHAT for Survivor 20, Heroes vs. Villains, Episode 1!

me:doo doooooo
Shanna:the world's most BEAUTIFUL OCEAN
me:combat!
THANK YOU FOR WELCOMING US, JEFF!
Shanna::)
me:previously.... all these people were on survivor before. heh.
dun dun dunnnn
ominous helicopters
Shanna:hidden faces!
not hidden!
me:heh . as if anyone did not go online and see who was on this season.
Shanna:hee
me:I wish snarky Courtney was not a villain. although I think she'd rather be one than a hero.
Shanna:heh, "google it" [Russell says villains are smart, and then tells us to use google that fact]
me:hee
I know. already russell is an ass.
Shanna:google "villians always win"
aww, james
muscley
me:and obsessed with apples
Shanna:awww, tom
me:lol. Boston Rob.
I kind of want to hug all of them.
I don't remember Sandra being that mean.
Shanna:man, can you imagine coming back after 10 years? [re: Colby commenting on it being almost 10 years since his first Survivor appearance]
cirie: nice ganster
me:Gangsta in an Oprah suit?
Shanna:heee
me:Colby is an actor now. He's gone far since his Survivor debut 10 years ago!
Heh

[Credits!]
Shanna:lo lay lo lay lo lay la la
me:yay!
Survivor!
really, this season cannot suck as much as last season, no matter what
Shanna:totally

me:I would not want to sit in one of those scary copters.
Shanna:no! too open!
me:Oh, "Coach". posing already. douche.
Shanna:lol, russel is starstruck over boston rob
me:all the other Survivors are like "Who is this Russell a-hole?"
Shanna:amanda!
hehehe
me:meh. Amanda. no, I don't know about the knot in your stomach before you bungee jump. thanks.
Shanna:sugar!
me:I know!!
Shanna:random OTHER helicopters
me:heroes! villains!!
Shanna:heh, pummeled with sand [the villain copters descend to the beach, where the heroes already have arrived, and get pelted with the stirred-up sand]
me:lol.
I love the villains making their entrances to the heroes.
Shanna:ah, i didn't realize there were 4 total helicopters
me:yeah.
I kind of love the villains. I hate them, but I still want to hug them all.
Shanna:yeah
me:I hope they all give Jeff shit.
Shanna:so, the villians all kind of wore red
but the heroes seem to have no theme
me:yeah.
recent seasons they've tried to color code them, so I don't know what is up with that
Shanna:yeah, i've noticed that.... just find it weird they heroes are not all blue or something
me:Man. I am not on the Rupert train.
Shanna:i guess they kind of are
me:yeah. I was surprised they didn't make them all wear blue.
it is less obvious.
Shanna:yeah, rupert was nice in his season, but meh
me:he was kind of a whiny baby after a while.
Shanna:yeah
dawww, JT
me:all the heroes are going to be all "ooh, perspective, noble blah blah bla" and the villains are so not going to be that way. :)
LOL
OMG that is awesome symbolism. Hee [Jerri is wearing a villainous black hat, Colby is wearing a heroic white one]
Shanna:hehe
me:Blindsides does not equal being a villain!
Shanna:heh, courtney
Shanna:yeah, really!
me:Jeff, I am bored with this. move on. [he keeps talking to the Survivors about being back, blah blah blah fishcakes]
Shanna:yeah, time to move on
me:I think Boston Rob has a point. I'll give the villains the early advantage.
Shanna:um
i think there are plenty of egos on the villians
me:but they will have other, crazier ego problems!!
Shanna:yeah!
me:ooh, challenge! [first challenge time!]
Shanna:PHYSICAL
me:battling!!!
FIRE!
Shanna:they all know fire is important
me:FIRE IS LIFE
Shanna:remember, jeff, they have PLAYED BEFORE
me:WHY DIDN"T JEFF REMIND US FIRE IS LIFE????
Shanna:heh
he will! at tribal!
we will get the speech!
bouncy cirie
me:yeah, I know, I know.
Parvati is badass
Shanna:blurring
me:hee. boobs.
oh!
Shanna:damn
me:nice take down cirie!
Shanna:this is crazy
me:LOL
I love this.
I would love to watch this in a group, like at a bar
Shanna:aww, steph [in a lot of pain, having her shoulder dislocated already in the battle!]
me:injuries already!
Shanna:no wonder! that was rough!
eh, just pop it back in
me:no shit. they are trying to kill these people already!
Stephenie is one of the few wearing a sensible swimsuit top, too
Shanna: yeah, she knows the drill [the medics are putting her shoulder back in]
me:Jeff is helping
yuck. that was a nice sound effect. [horrible popping sound which may have been real, but I want to believe the editors embellished a bit]
Shanna:jeff is like, DAYUM
me:I think Jeff is a little turned on by that.
Shanna:hee
yeah
jerri also has a sensible suit
unlike amanda
hahaha
randy and jt
me:indeed
Shanna:go jt go!
me:I am not surprised by that outcome.
ooh, new strategy. "Coach" playing defense
Shanna:he's [Jeff] like, i have to keep talking because it is taking them a long time to find it
me:oops. didn't work, though.
Shanna:pile of guys
lol, dragging coach
me:I think coach was just feeling Colby up a little
Shanna:play fair! [Jeff says… schoolmarmishly, but I don’t think very sincerely. He loves the rough play.]
me:hee
Shanna:damn
me:awww, no way [Coach lets Colby drag him all the way and then scores the point!]
:(
Shanna:oh tyson
christ
me:oh, Tyson is still an ass
Shanna:i hate that guy as much now as i did before
me:Sugar vs Courtney!
these are all the tiny women.
Shanna:he just plays up his assholery
go ladies!
go sugar!
me:I don't think they can even lift the damn bag.
Shanna:hehehe
me:they are all scrappy little women
lol
Shanna:man
me:Sandra undid Sugar's top! hee
Shanna:undid her top?
wtf
go sugar!
Lol [Sugar does not let Sandra undoing her top stop her, and she decides to grab the bag, sprint topless to the mat for the point, and do a double-fisted flip-off in topless victory!]
me:she is a pinup model. she rules
that was awesome
LOLOLOL
Shanna:best fight ever
me:I want to rewatch that later
I think James should just hold down his two opponents at the same time.
he could do it.
Shanna:go james!
yay heroes! [They win reward!]
me: yay!!
Shanna:hehehe
me:aww, be sad Rupert [I did not know why he was sad]
Shanna:damn
me:oh, he's injured. my bad
Shanna:beat them up right away
me:I thought he was sad about something.
meh, just a toe.
Shanna:yeah
me:relocated shoulder
Shanna::)
me:I give that win to Sugar. Heh.
Shanna:totally

[back at camp after commercial]
me:I am glad the tribe names are not kooky native words
Shanna:heh, for once
me:I think I will like the villains teasing each other and being crazy
Shanna:yeah
me:I am already sick of Russell.
Shanna:who the heck is danielle
me:she apparently was on Exile Island
Shanna:huh
me:I sort of remember her.
maybe.
Who does Russell think he is? You know? blerg. [being all about being awesome and finally playing with people smart enough for him and how he’s the best and all that nonsense]
Shanna:lol, russell. gettin in with the ladies again
these ladies should be smarter
me:I don't know about this Danielle, but Parvati is smarter than Russell for sure.
Shanna:ok, thank you parvati
me:she knows how to play him.
OH SHUT UP RUSSELL YOU ARE NOT THE BEST
triumphant hero music!
heroes!!!
[at the heroes camp]
Shanna:collaborative decision making!
me:wee!
Shanna:very hero like
me:indeed
Shanna:chicken!
me:its all rainbows and unicorns at the hero tribe
and chickens!
Shanna:goofy music!
it will be fun to watch them with a chicken
me:how are there chickens there?
Shanna:people are not good at catching chickens
me:did Shambo leave them on the island??
Shanna:maybe!
or maybe they are island chickens
me:surround the chickens!!
Shanna:better than "chase them!"
me:lol. yay! they got the dumbass chickens!
Shanna::D
me:I think the producers set them loose for the heroes
Shanna::)

[Villain Camp]
me:oh, I'm sure you had forgotten your awesomeness, "Coach"
they needed to remind you [Coach says something about how he’d forgotten about how awesome he was pwning Colby at the challenge, but his tribe kept talking about it… yeah]
Shanna:heh
me:ewww. Jeri hearts Coach!
Shanna:they look like they should be together
me:ewww. and Coach hearts Jerri@!
Didn't Coach have a girlfriend?
Shanna:1st survivor romance of the season
me:the villains are going to be awesomely relentless with each other [They are already playfully teasing each other, since they are the meanie, taunting villains!]
Shanna:his girlfriend probably left him after he got a big survivor head
me:heh
see, JT was also a big double dealer but that did not make him a villain
they all had to do that kind of thing and blindside people.
Shanna:yeah
me:it is interesting how some of them have played together and how that works out
it is also very interesting how they are actually strategizing for real now, since they have learned
Shanna:yeah
me:final tribal will be very interesting
Shanna:for sure
it will be interesting to see who makes it far
me:
yeah
it has been SIX years since Boston Rob played??
holy shit
Shanna:heh
time flies!
me:Boston Rob has the work ethic [he complains everyone is just hanging around, posing, etc, and they need to try to make fire and not have a bad shelter]
uh. you CAN make fire without flint, dude. [Randy scoffs and whines at Rob suggesting they try to make fire without winning fire tools, etc]
Randy is such a whiny ass
Shanna:yeah, that guy is annoying
me:I would love to see Boston Rob triumph at this
Shanna:go boston rob
me:they are all watching like it is a miracle [Boston Rob successfully builds a fire-making doohickey and makes fire!!]
nice job
Shanna:it is kind of cute that he and amber are still married
not like, a quickie reality romance
me:yeah
it has to work out sometimes!
Coach is a Boston Rob fanboy
Russell is jealous!
I hope he gets voted out first.
Shanna:yeah, maybe russell was so pissed at tribal for last season because of how he performed this season
me:yeah
that's what i was thinking, too

[Back at camp Heroes]
me:I think it is hard to break a toe in multiple places. [Rupert goes on about how his toe is broken in 3 places or something, and then spends a zillion years wasting their magnesium and flint unsuccessfully making fire]
Oh, Rupert. don't waste the magnesium and flint!
he's got a martyr complex
Shanna:man, try to sound A LITTLE MORE EXCITED [Someone else makes fire, Rupert does not seem grateful]
me:he's Eeyore
Shanna:lol

[Camp Villains]
me:Boston Rob totally knows all their egos. heh.
Shanna:so funny
me:He will play them.
IRON SHARPENS IRON [Coach wants to be BFFs with Boston Rob]

[Heroes]
Sugar is on the prowl
Shanna:awww, colby is like not interested
me:I think Colby gave the brushoff to Jerri during their first season, too, which sort of played into her villain-ness
me:are they going to waste a chicken this early?
ugh. JT killed that chicken with his bare hands!
sexy! ... not really

[Villains]
Shanna:oh, well, they got fire on their own
me:yup
which makes them a little more awesome
Shanna:yeah
damn, that was a snarky tree mail
me:heh
I hope the villains lose and vote off Russell
srsly, I would rather any of the other villains stay longer
Shanna:yeah

[Immunity Challenge!]
me:I want them to be all BOOYEAH WE HAVE FIRE TOO [Jeff is asking the questions, talking about how much awesomer the heroes must be right now since they already won fire, but the villains do not tip their hand that they are not doing too terribly]
but they didn't.
they are keeping expectations low
Shanna:yeah, i am surprised he didn't mention it
ahh, true
me:it is smart
part of this magical 20th season apparently involves Jeff reminding us which players have done these challenges before
Shanna:yeah
he is like, look, we can't keep coming up with new challenges
me:and instead of just hoping we forget about some of the recycled challenges, now it is special since they are all allstars
Shanna:yeah
me:I hope we get to hear lots of snarky asides and comments during the challenges
there needs to be a drinking game for this season. how many times Jeff calls it the 20th season and stuff
Shanna:hee
oh damn
me:oh, heroes. you are dumb. [they had a huge lead and then choked on the puzzle, giving the Villains the win]
well, I guess Russell won't be voted out
my guess is Sugar. she has annoyed everyone already and is crying.
Shanna:yeah :(
me:but they could be trying to make it too obvious to us.
Shanna:boo, i still like her
but someone needs to go
me:could be Rupert, too, I guess
ooh, snap, Colby.
Shanna:oh jeez, didn't you watch her season? she is not having an emotional breakdown, this is just how she is
me:exactly

[Villain camp]
me:thanks for explaining that, Sandra. yes, you don't want to lose immunity so someone has to go home
Shanna:yeah, that was ILLUMINATING
me:hah. they have a see saw at the villain camp [which Russell was playing on with Coach]

[Heroes]
I want Rupert to go home.
Shanna:me too
me:blerg
ooh, why Amanda? [someone suggests her]
Shanna:yeah, that was random
me:because she's a threat and has a lot of potential alliances already?
ooh, good point Tom. [about Cirie being a threat]
But I don't want Cirie to go!
I love the real strategizing at this point.
Shanna:me either, but tom is TOTALLY right
me:and I love that Tom recognizes how awesome Cirie was
Shanna:for once!
Shanna:someone is smart!
at the beginning!
who cares if someone is weak and whiny? they will love you forever if you let them stay [re: Sugar, I think]
me:heh. yeah. that's what will make this season awesome. they've all learned from being on before, except Russell still thinks he is the best.
me:I love Cirie still.
they all know each others' strengths and weaknesses
Shanna:i love all these players!
i keep being like, NOOO
just lose rupert
me:I love how the America's Sweetheart and FavoriteSurvivor, Sugar and Rupert, are now the most hated/annoying ones
the narrative has already been completely flipped
Shanna:yeah

[Tribal Council!!]
me:WHY DO THEY NEED FIRE, JEFF???
Shanna:FIRE IS LIFE!
me:Is it because fire represents life? hmm?? yes!
Shanna:lol
he's like, i am contractually obligated to say that line
me:hee
Shanna:lol, no roof on tribal?
me:Now when Jeff brings up these questions, it isn't like he's feeding ideas to the players like usual. they actually have thought about this stuff.
I hate how Jeff still seems shocked Cirie is a threat.
Shanna:yeah, really
me:Steph is still the hardcore strength/challenge voter. she's still got the athlete mentality.
Shanna:yeah
me:No, you can't just pick one person to vote out if there were 4 people who sucked at the puzzle part. it wasn't one person's fault.
Shanna:yeah
me:ooh, nice answer Candace. it is hard to do the puzzle! [she says you can’t blame them for losing because it is brave of them to try and then no one will volunteer to do puzzles if you blame them]
Shanna:yeah!
me:I think Tom as lying a little bit there. he's not about keeping the tribe strong. he wants to vote based on long term strategy! [threats like Cirie and aligning with another winner, JT, for a chance at the end]
I don't want any of them to leave. I like the dynamic we have!
Shanna:maybe by "keeping the tribe strong" he means weeding out strategizers who aren't on his side
me:I think he was doublespeaking there, yeah.
Shanna:yeah
they should really be keeping in mind that she [Sugar] won the first challenge for them by taking off her top
boooooooo [and… Sugar is gone]
me:well, duh.
I agree. she was badass in that first challenge.
Shanna:ooooh
so sad
:(
me::(
she should have been less annoying I guess.
Shanna:yeah
me:at least she has that awesome moment from the first challenge. now we have sad sack Rupert to have hanging around for a while.

[on the next….]
next time.... someone Boston Rob collapses!!!
he looks dead!!!!
Shanna:crazy!
sugar is like, yeah, they probably did the right thing
and i want to get some clothes on!
heh
me:heh
I only got the first few seconds of her goodbye
we didn't get to hear anyone's voting comments this time around
Shanna:yeah
too many comments, so little time
me:probably also because it was obvious
Shanna:yeah
me:well, that was a fun first episode
Shanna:yep!
looks like it will be a fun season
me:totally
*********************

So... I think it will be a good one. As we've said before, it can't be any worse than last season, which was annoying and not exciting. And "knowing" these Survivors already, and them having a chance to change our minds about them for better and worse (as seems to always happen when there are repeaters) will be interesting!

Here is something that I pulled from the TWoP recap of last episode which sums up why I think I'll like watching the "Villains" tribe more than I would normally expect to like them based on their individual seasons: Night 1 at the Villains camp, the tribe makes fun of Rupert. Ha! Jerri says he merely "stubbed" his toe, while Randy does an impression of him. Douche reminisces about his stunning victory over Colby, although he claims in an interview that while he'd "forgotten" about his impressive display, his tribe couldn't stop thinking about it. Jerri, with her past with Colby, naturally gravitates towards Douche, her new hero. Say what? She interviews that she wants to get to know him better while snuggling up beside him to sleep. NOOO! Not Jerri! Also, what happened to Douche's ladyfriend from the finale? Douche interviews that he is also interested in Jerri, who is a "different kind of girl" to his "different kind of guy." Randy, meanwhile, laughs at them. The next morning, the camp is abuzz about Douche and Jerri's blossoming romance. Douche actually smiles goofily when Li'l Russell and Parvati tease him about it, which makes him -- as much as I hate to say it -- kind of endearing. Meanwhile, Sandra and Courtney tease Jerri about Douche. I think Courtney's just doing it because she likes calling Douche "the Dragonslayer" and then laughing.

The "villains" may be annoying on their individual seasons, but dump a bunch of them together, knowing each others' back stories and Survivor personalities? Golden, I say!

Failure and Guilt (and mid-season Breakups and New Flings)

2010-01-28T11:17:00.015-05:00

I have utterly failed at totally catching up on Lost. It was an ambitious undertaking, and was technically possible, but I just did not have the right combination of free time and drive to accomplish it. This makes me very sad, but in the grand scheme of things to fail at, it isn't, shall we say, an important thing to worry about. I will, however, eventually try to watch all of it. I'm not sure how this is going to effect the start of the final season next week and my desire to view it. I would need to get up to speed by viewing some of the handy online Lost recaps and tutorials before then to fill in the gaps between what I've seen and what I haven't gotten to yet. Do I get by on the recaps and plunge in and be part of this final season awesomeness as it happens? Do I deserve to enjoy the final season as it unfolds, being only a bandwagon jumper at the last minute? I will have to work out these feelings before next week!

More Lost related guilty feelings, shows I've dumped recently, and new flings after the jump...

So, the Lost project was a failure. I have my excuses, of course: I am taking classes in addition to working full-time, and in the past few months decided to buy a condo, so I have additional responsibilities which should, in theory, trump TV-watching. But to be honest, I still have been watching plenty of TV.

What I feel guilty about, and I do realize this is absurd, was that some of my free TV time was used to.... gasp! ... CHEAT.

I watched OTHER TV. And not just any other TV. I watched more Enterprise. So, I cheated on Lost with my old flame. To tell the truth, Lost is only a detour from Star Trek. Star Trek and I were more on a break to explore other relationships. And in times of stress I found myself occasionally going back to Star Trek for comfort. And the worst part of it is that I compromised my principles in my relationship with Enterprise, too. My plan, of course is to watch it all in order. But a few weeks ago, during the holidays, I was feeling a little lonely. It was the holiday hiatus, so not much regular TV was on as a casual diversion. I had some time off work. The nights were cold and dark. I found myself looking up which Enterprise episodes had certain characters developing a relationship, which though I hadn't seen the episodes yet, of course, I knew about already. As luck would have it, many of them were hanging out on my DVR, and one thing led to another...

As for regular TV-watching (by that I usually mean stuff that is currently running, not stuff I'm catching up with on DVD or syndication via DVR), I've decided to finally break it off completely with Brothers & Sisters. The family dynamics no longer had enough humor and lightness to outweigh their insufferable attitudes and stupid drama. I think this breakup was inevitable as long as the creepy Rebecca/Justin relationship moved forward, and the introduction of new creepy emo-Walker half-sibling Ryan, but Kitty and the Senator + adopted baby plot device + cancer? I'm done. I think I watched part of the first episode this season and just never found myself coming back to it.

Also, rather unexpectedly, Desperate Housewives and I have drifted apart. It was never a very intense relationship, but rather out of pleasant convenience. What else was I usually doing Sunday nights? But since the fall airplane crash cliff-hanger, I haven't tuned back in. The episodes are sitting on my DVR, just in case I feel like catching up, but I can't guarantee they won't be bumped off in favor of space for other things.

I do have a new interest, which I came by unexpectedly. A few weeks ago, I caught a Saturday rerun of Castle [beware of ABC's automatic video on loading]. When the show premiered mid-season last year, I was intrigued, but did not end up watching it. I've been reluctant to add more shows to my regular viewing, since, again, I should prioritize real-life responsibilities, so I didn't put in effort to watch it, even though I knew it had the awesome Nathan Fillion. But it was on and, to extend my creepy dating metaphor even further, this show is TOTALLY MY TYPE. I have a thing, very apparently, for shows that are procedural in format but have a lot of character development, with the evolution of a trusting platonic relationship with sustained but very controlled sexual-tension between the two, smart, confident main characters. (Examples: The X-Files, Bones). Another characteristic of these shows that I fall for are that they have great secondary characters, who are sometimes quirky but are always well-developed (The Lone Gunmen and many others on The X-Files, the Squints on Bones). Castle seems to fit the bill pretty well. I loved Susan Sullivan when she was on Dharma and Greg, and she's fabulous as Castle's sort of snarky but supportive mom.

So, that's the state of things on my TV for now.

P.S. I can't help but use the extended TV-relationship metaphor. Sorry. I know it is silly and a little creepy.

P.P.S. I have used the word "creepy" a lot in this post. Sorry about that, too.

Taking up room on the DVR that is my mind

2009-11-09T18:53:00.009-05:00

I know, I know. I haven't posted in a long time. I have no good excuses, but here is a little bit of an explanation.
Yes, I work full-time and have gone back to school for a graduate degree (for some reason I think I let TV get more into my head when I am supposed to be concentrating on real things... maybe it is a distraction, maybe it is an escape, I dunno)... But what has probably really gotten in the way of me concentrating on this little tv blog project has been my underestimation of how much of my time and mind would be taken up by, yes, Dancing with the Stars this season.

Let me explain....

A few seasons ago, I started watching DWTS when Marlee Matlin was one of the celebrities. I've taken some classes in American Sign Language, and I've really loved some of Marlee's roles in TV and movies before, so I thought it would be neat to see how she did on DWTS. I got hooked on the show that season (season 6) and was glad to watch it until the end. I had been vaguely aware of the show in the past, perusing some of the recaps on Television without Pity, but hadn't been really interested before. It did not return to my lineup for season 7.

As Season 8 was coming up, though, I had some spare time in my TV viewing schedule, and I'll admit I was initially sucked in by the train wreck that was Steve Wozniak dancing, and making it far too far on that show due to the efforts of his industrious and persistant geek following. I settled in and watched most of Season 8. When it was over, though, again I felt not particular attachment to it.

Ah, but this fall TV season started and I found that instead of wanting to watch House or How I Met Your Mother (which I've completely abandoned this season) or The Big Bang Theory, I was tuning in to DWTS. And then, the show burrowed into my brain, and I found myself thinking about it at random times throughout the day... driving to work, on my lunch-time walks.

Now, in the past I'd tried to imagine what it would be like to take a crash course in Ballroom and Latin dancing the way the "stars" (a term applied pretty liberally on this show, in my opinion) do. I am notorious for being a bad dancer. I took one dance class in college, in which I was the worst student (but got an okay grade due to effort). In high school, I was in a few musicals which required a small amount of not-super-technical dancing, and our chorus did show-choir... but I was not good. In fact, our director seemed to delight in pointing out how awkward I looked when I danced. I became known for making "the face" -- a ridiculous expression I wore when trying to dance that was a combination of "white man's overbite," concentration, and an attempt at nonchalance. My main move now when forced to dance in social settings involves keeping my shoulders and hips locked in-line, kind of rocking back and forth or swaying at the knees, and doing a combination sway/fist-pump with my arms, with my feet planted firmly on the ground about shoulder width apart. If I'm really feeling wild (and especially coordinated), the arms might swing around in circles, and I might do the 80s school-dance "step-touch."

You can imagine why I might fantasize about an intensive, fancy dahhhhhncing bootcamp.

But lately, whenever I'd hear any music, any song on the radio, I'd start wondering, "What dance would they do to this? Samba? Rumba? Is that a good one for a Foxtrot? Tango or Paso Doble?"

Then, while taking my lunch-time walks the past week or so, I started spending the entire half-hour trying to picture DWTS routines to the music on my very, very limited iPhone playlist. And not just the dancing, but the costumes, too. My favorite fantasy DWTS routine (and forgive me, because I didn't watch the earlier seasons, and did not realize until I did some research earlier today and found this song had been done on the show already), was a futuristic Tango to "The Final Countdown" by Europe (uh... yeah, that is on my playlist... shut up), in spacey, silver lame costumes. The woman's dress would be sleek and tight fitting through the bodice, sleeveless, with a high collar, and large cut-outs in the sides, and a flowing skirt that was long in the back and open in the front. The man would wear a tight-fitting, shiny silver shirt with sort of flowy sleeves (or perhaps also sleeveless), black pants probably with some silver detailing and a little flair at the bottom. I debated whether it should be a Paso Doble, but I decided on the Tango because I liked it better with more dancing in hold (I say this as if I know what I'm talking about at all, which I don't, and could be totally wrong but I think what I was picturing was the Tango) but either way, the dance would have a lot of staccato movements, head-snaps, and twirling (in hold). This dance played through my mind a lot.

So, today, I decided to investigate whether the song had already been done, and alas, it had. (insert sad face here).

Take a look at Lisa Rinna paired with pro dancer Louis van Amstel from Season 2 of DWTS.

... I think my version is way better.

(I'm rooting for Kelly Osbourne (also she tweets) this season, and not that I believe in jinxes like that, but just in case, please consider voting for her in case this post is some bad juju.)

On hiatus

2009-10-07T09:42:00.003-04:00

To my legions (current definition of "legion" = "can be counted on one hand") of readers,

Sorry I was posting fairly reliably at the beginning and then disappeared. Things come up, and stuff.
I'm still really excited about this project, so tune in again to see when we return to our regularly scheduled programming.

As an apology, after the jump I've supplied a photo of me cheesing it up on the Enterprise 1701-D bridge.

CAT in a SPACE SUIT

2009-08-13T06:30:00.000-04:00

Not a lady in a catsuit.
(Not that there aren't plenty of those in Star Trek, too.)
Although, it appears the cat is named Lady.

Zoom in after the jump...

I referred to this drawing in my post on the episode "Breaking the Ice" and then I found it, so here it is.
It is hard to see, and my photo enhancing abilities are approaching nil, but there she is. Very clearly a cat wearing a bubble helmet in space (note the copious stars... and also a heart). You can't read it in this pic, but where my arrow is pointing, I believe I read it onscreen as saying "Lady", so I can only assume that is the space cat's name. Or maybe the feline space program uses ranks with titles like Lord and Lady. Maybe they model it after the Space Ren Faire.

The Vulcan is not labeled by name or gender, and does not have the benefit of a space helmet. He's a Vulcan, so it is hard to tell if he is bothered by that.

Post: Enterprise eps 109 - 112

2009-08-08T02:02:00.020-04:00

This time, I've decided to link to the Memory-Alpha pages in the episode titles and use Wikipedia for the synopsis of each episode. Both sources have their virtues. Memory-Alpha has some great nuggets of background information, quotes, and trivia, but Wikipedia has more detailed recaps of each episode, if you've got the time.

Today's post takes the format of brief synopsis borrowed from Wikipedia, links to recap sources, followed by my notes. I think I have more to say about some individual episodes than others, and those are more likely to get longer, individual posts. I'm just winging it, though, so we'll see. Another administrative tidbit: my backspace key stopped working, and it has been driving me insane! But you don't really care about this stuff.

On to the episodes: Civilization, Fortunate Son, Cold Front, and Silent Enemy.

Civilization
"The Enterprise investigates a pre-industrial civilization of about 500 million people. They discover that there is another warp-capable species among the unsuspecting inhabitants. After Archer, Trip, Hoshi, and T'Pol arrive, they discover a local scientist believes a local merchant is causing the sickness in the town." (Wikipedia Recap)

Ooh, a pre-industrial civilization. Who look almost like humans! Let's dress up like them and secretly make contact!!
(It's like a SPACE REN FAIRE!)
We've discovered why aliens land in cornfields. Less chance of cultural contamination.
Another reference to the foundations of the Prime Directive and regulations which haven't been written by Starfleet yet.
Dressed in the pre-industrial alien's clothes and with long hair, T'Pol looks like an elven Angelina Jolie.
I think Hoshi senses a thing between Trip and T'Pol when he gestures to T'Pol that her pointy ears are showing. Or else Hoshi's just really tickled to be going on this mission with lots of languages.
Yeah, let's not abduct these people and bring them on an alien ship in order to diagnose their illness... bad idea.
Lesson from Captain Archer: When the UT fails, sexually assault...err, romantically kiss... the spunky alien you are trying to get to know in order to distract her until you get the UT working again.
Ooh, that other alien's face is coming off... to reveal a different kind of alien! No doubt, he is responsible for the strange goings-on and mysterious illness!
This alien lady is pretty calm for someone who has just witnessed her first space ships and aliens. At least she wasn't abducted and probed at the time.
Aww, it's Archer's first cultural contamination!

Fortunate Son

"Archer is contacted by Admiral Forrest to turn around and lend a helping hand to the ECS Fortunate, a Y-class freighter. Archer, Malcolm, Phlox, and Travis learn from the first officer that the Fortunate was attacked by Nausicans and that the captain was injured. The Enterprise helps repair the Fortunate until sensors show that the 23-member crew has an additional person aboard." (Wikipedia Recap)

Why are there so many Earth ships way out there in space already? What's the point of Enterprise being out there? Is it just that these cargo ships have been hanging out relatively close to Earth and Enterprise is so much faster it has already been very far out and can come back to the other ships range? I guess that explains it. But it seems to me this means there are a lot of things the Enterprise crew aren't going to be the first humans to see, for a while, then!
Ensign Travis Mayweather makes friends with another space boomer (someone who grows up entirely out in space on a ship), who is now accusing him of abandoning his home and his family.... Backlash against Starfleet? Well, in this episode we get to learn more about Travis' background and boomer culture.
Another boob-thrusting T'Pol pose, this time crouching to avoid being fired at with Archer. I notice because, well, it looks awkard. I think I would fall over if I always walked and posed like she does.
Yes. Stick it to T'Pol, Travis. Rationality depends on context.
Archer: "Just because someone isn't born on Earth doesn't make him any less human." And why they should not abandon their values and humanity and doesn't make it right to engage torture and hostage taking.
I want this Matthew Ryan space boomer guy to die, out of principle. Man, talk about arrogant and prideful (how T'Pol described humans refusing Vulcan help in the last episode.)
Since the last episode, we have learned: be less stubborn and accept help. And let Starfleet force their help on others, I guess.

Cold Front

"The Enterprise encounters a transport ship, captained by Fraddock, en route to the Great Plume of Aggasoria carrying pilgrims. The Enterprise docks with the transport and the men come aboard to tour the ship and to watch the Plume. When one of the visitors secretly disconnects an anti-matter junction that prevents the possible, and wholly unexpected, destruction of the Enterprise, a member of the crew approaches the captain to warn that one of the visitors may be Silik of the Suliban.This episode marks the real start of the Temporal Cold War." (Wikipedia Recap)

Hmm... more Suliban. Being UN-enhanced? Interesting.
Ha. People still watch crappy movies instead of reading in the 22nd century.
Archer speaks weirdly slowly and loudly when addressing new species. Like he's talking to someone slow and hard of hearing.
Uh oh, I think the friendly spiritual dudes have been infiltrated by the bad guy. Taking advantage of Enterprise's hospitality! Its a trap!
Archer - still talking funny. Almost Shatner-esque.
Hee. Travis is in command. Hoshi is goading him to "take the chair".
Trip is talking to the spiritual pilgrims like they are idiots. Busted. One of them is a warp theorist! He should not assume they are technologically inferior. How small minded!
Oops, but now that guy is messing around with something in Engineering. He's the bad guy!
Hmm... the sabotage backfired! Saved them from the plasma lightning cascade whatever.
Crewman Daniels is a time traveler, from 900 years in the future? Temporal observatory = lame.
Blah blah temporal cold war time travel laws blah blah blah. What? I know this is supposed to be an ongoing story arc, but I kind of don't care.
T'Pol: "there's a difference between keeping an open mind and believing something because you want it to be true" in reference to the time traveling.
Wow. Crewman Daniels is a time traveler, AND can walk through walls.
So, I think the apparent sabotage in Engineering backfiring was on purpose? Or really wasn't sabotage because it saved the ship from destruction? But to other nefarious ends? I really wasn't paying attention to these details.
Another reference to Archer's dog liking cheese. This is a recurrent theme.
Yay for cultural exchange. Go Phlox. Way to participate in the space plume pilgrimage.
How can Archer dangle on to a piece of scaffolding or catwalk when the cargo bay door or whatever was opened? He can't breathe, but he can stop himself from being sucked into space?
So... yeah. Time travel. Temporal cold war. Suliban bad guys. "Crewman" Daniels from 900 years in the future to intervene.

Silent Enemy

"Archer and Hoshi attempt to get to know Malcolm Reed better in order to surprise him on his birthday. Meanwhile, the Enterprise encounters a non-communicative alien ship that fires upon them. The Enterprise is unable to defend itself as it was not fitted with phase cannons before it left spacedock. Trip and Reed insist that they can construct the weaponry as well as the engineering staff at Jupiter Station. Archer orders the Enterprise to return to Earth to have the phase cannon fitted but authorises Trip and Reed to go ahead with creating and fitting their version.
The Enterprise encounters the alien ship again and this time is able to defend itself and defeat the ship. Hoshi discovers that Reed is taking inoculations to enable him to eat pineapple. At the celebration of the defeat of the alien ship, Reed is amazed that the cake is pineapple, as he didn't know that anyone knew his favorite food." (Wikipedia Recap)

Ah, in this episode we get to learn more about Lieutenant Malcolm Reed. Will they each get a "getting to know you" episode?
We learn from Malcolm's rather stern British parents, speaking with the Captain, that Malcolm is not a complainer. And they are not close. They don't know what he likes to eat.
Why does Archer want to do a special dinner for Malcolm's birthday? Is this really a good use of Hoshi's time, tracking down Malcolm's favorite food?
Yes, other species motivations may be difficult to understand in human terms. Who knows why that alien ship is ignoring their hails and speeding away? It could be perfectly innocent!
Apparently, T'Pol can't use chopsticks. The Captain and Trip are entertained by this. But they only mention it, they don't show it. Kind of call-back to the Vulcan taboo against eating with their hands.
Trip has a long distance girlfriend named Natalie in Pensacola. And loves fried catfish.
And... the mysterious alien ship is back, and shooting at them! Guess their actions before weren't so innocent!
Ooh, need to install the phase cannons, (which were not installed before they left on the mission since they left early), in light of potential hostilities. Trip back to Earth!
Heh. Trip and Malcolm are gonna do the work themselves anyway. They don't need to go all the way back to our solar system to get the job done!
Malcolm is not easy to get to know. His sister is rather chatty, though.
I don't like that the term "spinster aunts" is still in use in the 22nd century.
And no one in his family seems to think Malcolm has any food preferences.
Why is it on TV that whenever someone invites someone somewhere it implies a sexual relationship? And all Hoshi is doing is trying to figure out what Malcolm like's to eat for the Captain. Like: "Hey, I think we should hang out..." "Sorry, that probably isn't appropriate, since we work together". What?? If that is true in real life, I totally have inappropriately propositioned (and perhaps been unwittingly in relationships with) many men.
I just noticed they don't use stardates yet.
Malcolm has a lot of allergies. We haven't gotten rid of those by now? Well, at least there are apparently good treatments. And is "need to figure out what to make for a birthday dinner" really a good enough reason, doctor, to reveal this information? Hmm?? At least now Hoshi can reasonably assume Malcolm really likes pineapple with this information.
Blah blah blah more skirmishes with the aliens. Must get the phase cannons working!
Malcolm and Trip are pretty scruffy from all that work. I bet they smell, so T'Pol better steer clear of them for now.
And... victory! They celebrate with beer. And pineapple birthday cake.
They should have better cake decorating than that in the 22nd century. Can't Chef do better than that? That is like a generic Stop & Shop bakery cake, or a beginner Wilton cake decorating class at the craft store. (Not exactly a Wreck, but kind of boring, considering I expect more from a chef on a space ship.)
And... Malcolm's favorite food IS pineapple. Another victory! The end.

Enterprise Season 1, Eps 106 - 108

2009-08-06T21:01:00.020-04:00

Enterprise Season One, the rest of disc 2 (episodes 106, 107, and 108 by production number).

For each of the episodes, I used a different style of recapping, increasing in laziness.

The first, Terra Nova, I linked to an episode recap at the fabulous Memory Alpha site, but did my own recap with observations, too. The second, The Andorian Incident, I linked to the recap but included my own short summary, followed by a list of observations (so, basically, it would make sense to read the full recap via the link to associate the observations better with the plot, since I didn't annotate them much). And the third episode, Breaking the Ice, I copied the three sentence summary from Memory Alpha, with the link, and then followed with my notes.

For alternate episode recaps, it is pretty easy to also go to Wikipedia, too.

On to the eps...

Terra Nova

Enterprise drops by the location of an experimental human colony that disappeared 70 years prior on an M class planet that was 20 light years (a 9 year travel distance at the time) away.

Basically, humans were itching to experiment with deep space colonization, so a ship went out for the 9 year journey to establish this colony, called Terra Nova. The colonists get into a spat with people on Earth and mysteriously are never heard from again. And since it takes so long to get to their location, no one goes to investigate. It is a classic exploration mystery that is well known on Earth. T'Pol claims to not know about it, but I think that is unlikely and just an easy way to get the exposition into the script.

Enterprise is now there and go to the planet to see if they can find out anything from the abandoned settlement.

Ha. A welcome mat at the ghost town colony.
Real location shooting must have been easier for some of these episodes, as this one and the one in Strange New World are Earth-like planets. No crappy "Planet Hell" sets like on TNG.

They encounter humanoids that are not very welcoming and live underground. They attack them and drag them into the caverns they live in. Its like The Descent, only less violent flesh ripping.

I wonder when it necessitates going into the sexy decon gel chamber coming back from an alien planet or ship and when it does not.

They've captured Malcolm and also some of them are sick. The Novans are very distrustful of the humans, claiming they are the source of the destruction of their colony on the surface ("over-side") and the deaths of most of their people 70 years ago, and now they want to take their home from them. They are very bitter and suspicious of "off worlders".

And Phlox discovers that their water is now contaminated with radiation, and soon they will all die off.

Also... surprise! Scans reveal that the Novans are actually human! They don't really believe it at first, but the Captain makes a connection between the photo of a very young girl who was one of the colonists to an elderly Novan lady named Nadet. It turns out an asteroid hit the planet, causing the destruction of their settlement and all the radiation, and the deaths of everyone but some children, who became the Novans. This explains their distrust of humans, since they thought it was people from Earth sent to destroy their colony, and also why their language is kind of a childish version of English.

Wouldn't that kind of be a big clue that they were closer to humans than they originally thought, if they are basically speaking the same language except with funny phrases or words for regular English words? For example: Sky ship = star/space ship . Track back = return. Shale = lies (I don't really get that one). Belly hollow = hunger. Overside/Underside = surface/underground. Go-befores = ancestors.

Metaphor alert! Hmm.... force human (American) lifestyle on the Novans to "save" them or preserve Novan culture?

The Novans are reluctant to accept help relocating to a safer part of the planet. The crew contemplates sort of forcibly removing them and bringing them back to Earth.

Nadet eventually comes around and convinces the other Novans to accept the crew's assistance in relocating to the other part of the planet.

Yay. All is well. Novan cultures is preserved, their lives are saved, and they've accepted they really are humans. And the Enterprise crew gets to brag that they've solved one of Earth's great exploration mysteries.

The Andorian Incident

Some Andorians bust into a monastery at a Vulcan outpost. There is a history of discord between Andorians and Vulcans, and the Andorians think the Vulcan monks are up to no good. Meanwhile, the Enterprise crew just decide to drop by to visit the monastery, and oops, they happen upon a hostage situation. The Andorians keep T'Pol, Archer, and Trip as captives, too, but they manage to communicate with Enterprise and engineer an escape. But, oops! It turns out the Vulcans are up to no good and there was a secret spy station hidden in the monastery. The Enterprise crew exposes this, and the Vulcans are in violation of their treaty with the Andorians.

Observations:

Ah, Andorians. The teal aliens with the antennae like things. Why are they busting into a Vulcan temple of some sort?
This was when I decided I'd almost had enough of making myself sit through the opening credits and listen to the theme song.
Go on, Phlox. School T'Pol on diversity and the mission. (She seems reluctant to be associated with the humans when they drop by to visit the Vulcan monastery.)
Protocol for visiting the Vulcan monastery: Don't touch anything. Be quiet. Be respectful Just... don't be Americans. (Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I feel like that is kind of a theme during this season... learning about cultural sensitivity and not being obnoxious.)
Trip: "Don't get your antennas in a twist." I like it.
Andorian: "Answer me, pink skin!" I want to call people "pink skins" from now on.
Why do Vulcan temple statues look like Chinese people?
Eww, skeevy Andorian wants to rape T'Pol. "I'll enjoy having you... as a prisoner."
Ok. Andorians are suspicious and volatile. And, of course, they are jealous of Vulcans' awesomeness.
Those communicators are not very rugged. The Andorians smash them pretty easily. You'd think they'd make them a little more robust.
Oh, now the Andorians are going to try to coerce Archer by decapitating Vulcans? Who are they, Al Qaeda?
Vulcans are obsessed with how humans smell bad. T'Pol is given a nasal numbing agent to cope with human odor. Did Spock talk about his sensitive sense of smell and how humans stink?
Ha. Archer: "I'm all ears. No offense."
Trip is right. Vulcans ARE dramatic.
Why do alien species all share the same hair cuts among their people. Andorians all have the same hair. Vulcans all have the same hair. What is up with that?
Archer and T'Pol = America and allies. Have to convince them sometimes there isn't a peaceful solution and must respond with violence.
Gross. Andorians are aggressive and skeevy. Stop talking about Vulcan mating rituals and how T'Pol smells different than the other Vulcans.
Wait. Why do Andorians speak English?
It IS a sensor array. The vulcans are spies. Some "reliquary". I guess the Andorians aren't as paranoid as we thought.
And T'Pol proves her loyalty. And probably is suppresing a bunch of conflicting emotions. The end.

Breaking the Ice

"The Enterprise discovers the biggest comet ever seen by Man or Vulcan and decides to investigate. A Vulcan ship observes, and T'Pol receives an encoded message from them which Tucker intercepts and reads. There are complications, and eventually Captain Archer breaks the Human stereotype Vulcans have for Humans and accepts their help."

Aww, cute. Trip's nephew's class sent drawings to the Enterprise. T'Pol: "Crude but surprisingly accurate." Indeed. I actually enjoyed this scene enough to watch this part a few times immediately. I love it!
The frankestein-esque Vulcan kid-drawing has a cat in a space suit in the background apparently named "Lady".
Ohh, they discovered a comet!
Fastforwarding through the song....
Something is wrong with T'Pol. What's up?
Caffeine has little effect on Vulcans? That's a shame. (That's not the thing that is bothering her, though.)
I appreciate that Trip is trying to share Earth culture (well, Pecan Pie) with T'Pol. She's so damn aloof though. Maybe moreso since something is wrong? He noticed.
Archer: "If Vanik is the type to like to watch, let him." Gross. Captain Picard would never say that!
Awww, transmission back to the kids on Earth! In Ireland! They are answering questions the kids sent it! Adorable.
Hoshi - Explaining the Universal Translator. Woo hoo!
Trip gets the POOP question: Where the toilet flushes go... heh. Waste reclamation and resequencing. The ultimate recycling.
On the comet surface, Travis makes a snow blob man ... Malcolm adds facial features. (and eventually Vulcan ears!)
Trip suspects T'Pol is up to something when he notices she receives a secret message from the Vulcans.
Oh, what does T'Pol's encrypted message reveal? PERSONAL STUFF. What does it reveal about humans? They are sometimes douchebags. Well, not really. (Well, yeah, but not in this case exactly). They are idiots who make mistakes and sometimes are honest about them, though.
Vulcans = smug bores. (Another recurrent theme.)
Whoa. T'Pol is confiding in Trip! He suggests other ladies for girl talk. Because it is about an arranged marriage. Ha. Vulcans = super traditional.
This comet is way better than the one in Armageddon. Or was that Deep Impact?
Pre-tractor beam grappler thing is kind of funny.
Saved by the meddling but convenient Vulcans with a tractor beam.
I am not as good as Trip. I totally would have gossipped with the Captain about T'Pol's personal business.
Oh, T'Pol decided to try pecan pie after all. OMG YOU GUYZ T'POL TOTALLY LOVES TRIP!!!

Also, I did not have to mention boobs or nipples at all in this whole post.... d'oh!

"Unexpected"

2009-08-04T21:51:00.008-04:00

Enterprise Episode 104: Unexpected

"When Trip Tucker assists an alien vessel with repairs, a "friendly" encounter with one of the crew leads to rather unexpected consequences."

Those unexpected consequences? He's "expecting". The dude gets knocked up. Star Trek likes unexpected alien pregnancies. Even funnier if they happen to human males!

So, the episode starts out with Captain Archer in the shower. The see-through shower walls have a zig zag pattern that conveniently covers the Captain's "bathing suit area". I wonder if all the showers have stylish, see-through stall walls, and if the zig zag pattern is tailored to each person, to hide their junk. It seems really unnecessary to have clear shower walls on this ship, anyway. It isn't like you are getting a bunch of natural light in your bathroom in the first place.
But, uh oh, the gravity plating seems to be malfunctioning and suddenly the Captain and the water are floating around in the air. When it comes back online, he crashes hard to the ground. Ouch!

Elsewhere on the ship, more strange things happen. For instance, T'Pol's request for water from the replicator results in some nasty, brown viscous liquid. Already she was complaining about the smell of human food. This can't help. I note that there is a fire, and they have to use fire extinguishers, because there are not force-field based fire suppression devices yet.

Anyway, it turns out that some cloaked ship is hitchhiking on Enterprise's plasma wake or something because their engines are broken. Trip volunteers to go over to help. He goes over alone, not having seen these aliens, which I think is a bad idea. There is some strange acclimation chamber he has to stay in for a few hours, and because the process takes so long, he has to stay over there for three days. When he gets over to the Xyrillian ship, its all very colorful and psychodelic and trippy. He is greeted by the Xyrillian engineer, a slightly lizard-like but attractive alien lady named Ah'len, who is the chief engineer. She is wearing the requisite, form-fitting space suit. I wonder if there is a friction problem on these ships or something that necessitates such tight clothing.

Trip is still having a hard time adjusting to the alien ship, so Ah'len insists he take a nap. Apparently, that fixes everythingt, and Trip is good to go. He works with her to fix the engines. Apparently, also, the best the Xyrillians can do to approximate water for Trip to drink is to make these jello-like water cubes. He seems to like them. What else will this wacky ship have in store?

A holodeck! Ah'len takes Trip into a room with some trippily holographic glittery wallpaper, and it turns out this is their holodeck technology, the first of its kind witnessed by a human. Trip is very impressed. He seems to really like getting to know Ah'len. She plays a "game" with him that involves sticking your hands in a bowl of granules which allow you to read the mind of the other person. That sounds like a boring game to me. Interesting for a minute or two, but I think the novelty would wear off quick.

The repairs seem to be done, and Trip returns to Enterprise and the Xyrillians go on their way. Trip describes his visit, and Malcolm totally gets pervy ideas about the holodeck. Then, Trip notices something odd on his wrist. The doctor checks it out and guess what. IT'S A NIPPLE. Say what? Yes. A nipple. The doctor's scans reveal that Trip is pregnant. I knew not to trust this mind-reading granule game!!

Aside: Jolene Blalock really has that walk/stop/pose thing down. Now, I know they hire model/actresses to be the sexy alien crew members in the catsuits, but sometimes it just looks awkward to me, and I don't really need to be associating, say, Paris Hilton-esque posing with T'Pol.

Okay, so really, Trip is a host and the embryo only contains maternal genetic material. T'Pol gets very judgy and sounds a little jealous that Trip may have been less than gentlemanly on the alien ship, even though he insists he did nothing of the sort except play the granule game. The ship goes on a search for the Xyrillian vessel, and in the meantime, ha ha ha, Trip has morning sickness and becomes weirdly emotional and irrationally preoccupied with safety/baby-proofing (specifically a hand rail on a lift which could hurt someone if they stuck their hands in it, to which the crewman he is yelling at about it replies, basically "Why would anyone stick their hand there?" Ha.) It is kind of ridiculous. Trip also is paranoid and still doesn't trust T'Pol, believing she is spreading the news of his secret pregnancy to the rest of the crew. He also begins to sprout more nipples on his arm. Dude. What is with this show and nipples??

Also, this life form is growing somewhere in Trip's rib area. How does that work? Where will it go when it comes out? The few who seem to know about Trip's situation seem to find it funny. I find it creepy! WTF, crew? Dude is mysteriously carrying an alien embryo! Trip, himself, is surprisingly not particularly angry or defensive about being the man-host of an alien baby. His masculinity seems to be unchallenged by this development.

So they find the Xyrillian ship hitchhiking on a Klingon ship. Immediately, I suspect this was all a scam to spread alien babies to other species and the Klingons are the next victims. But I'm wrong. Turns out the repairs didn't hold. There is a skirmish with the Klingons. The Klingons don't want to cooperate but eventually they go aboard the Xyrillian ship and negotiate to not kill them all in exchange for holodeck technology. Ah'len is surprised that the swapping of genetic material was possible with another species but informs them that the embryo can safely be transferred to another host, Trip gets to go down in history as the first impregnated human male, and they all live happily ever after. Or whatever.

Overall, I found this episode ridiculous and also creepy. It made me uncomfortable! Unexpected alien pregnancies are creepier than they portray them here, don't you think? Especially so early in the mission, don't you think they should have been more worried? Even though it turned out to be an accident, I would think Trip might have felt a little more violated. I don't think they could have been so casual about it if it had been a female crew member who accidentally got knocked up on an alien ship. Of course, there's less comedic potential there, because: men? having babies! HILARIOUS!

There's an episode of TNG ("The Child") where Deanna Troi is impregnated by some alien energy being because it wants to experience being a human, from birth to death, in an accelerated form. She even names the boy after her late father. That episode always made me uncomfortable, too. They did treat it as something, I don't know, kind of special, but I still found it creepy that the crew accept this sort of thing so easily. I'd be pissed off if an alien life form used me in that way, and I think it would be difficult to accept the resulting "child" as my own (particularly since its life was apparently very unnaturally accelerated). Not to get too deep about it or anything, but being forced into birthing an alien life form and used as an experiment seems a little too much like rape to me, even if the motives were benevolent and in the service of understanding other entities.

Other notes:

Never thought I'd be googling the phrase "wrist nipple", but I had to find a pic somehow.
Found it funny that pics of Tucker Carlson kept coming up when I was searching for "enterprise unexpected Tucker" in Google images. Unexpected, indeed!
I wonder if having the word "nipples" in this post is going to introduce new people to this blog. (I'm looking at you, person who got here searching for "T'Pol's boobs").

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

2009-08-03T21:16:00.008-04:00

Or Do Vulcans purr when they are asleep?

Last night, I think I had my first Enterprise related dream since starting this project.

It took place in my mom's house. I was in a small spare bedroom near the kitchen, engaging in a phase pistol firefight with some unseen bad guys. With me in the room was T'Pol. We strategized and took positions on either side of the doorway. This is when we noticed that we were tethered together by a black cable around our waists, which let us only be about five feet apart at any time. The cable crossed the open doorway like a clothesline, making our hiding positions obvious. You can imagine how much of a handicap that would be whilst engaging in a firefight with unseen alien attackers.

Whatever our strategy was, it must have worked, because the shootout ended. We were tired and hungry. Luckily, there was food and a bed in the other spare room down the hall (my old bedroom). I spilled a bowl of food and rice, which was difficult to clean up from the carpet. As I was doing so, T'Pol fell asleep on the bed. She also was purring, like a cat. I was super annoyed by this, muttering to myself "Stupid Vulcans and their stupid purring!". Also, I was mad because she was asleep across the whole bed, and I needed a place to sleep, too.

Maybe I've been watching too much Star Trek with my cat.

Also pointy-eared and aloof.

Enterprise Season 1, Disc 1

2009-08-03T20:28:00.010-04:00

The rest of the first disc of season one contained two episodes: Fight or Flight and Strange New World, which I naturally keep trying to type as "Brave New World".

Fight or Flight

The episode starts off focusing on some space slug, which Hoshi has apparently kidnapped from some planet they just visited on an away mission. Apparently, this slug is their first First Contact since setting out (besides whoever they met during the Broken Bow shenanigans). The slug is not doing well. I am not surprised. Who kidnaps a slug from an alien planet, without knowing anything about the slug or the planet, and expects it to not get sick or at least a bit pissed off? Is that some kind of violation of regulations or something? Oh, wait, they haven't written most of the regulations yet.

The crew comes upon a ship with its inhabitants all killed. They have to figure out what happened, stay out of danger, the usual.

Anyway, this whole episode is to demonstrate how scared and nervous and uncomfortable Hoshi is. It's a mirror of our uncertainty about space exploration, of course! And the slug is a mirror for Hoshi's discomfort, being out of her element, in an environment that doesn't suit her.

Dr. Phlox is far less annoying in this episode. He still is very enthusiastic about living with humans, and he fills the role of observer of human behavior. He speculates about whether certain crew members who seem to be flirting with each other will allow him to witness human mating rituals. As creepy as that sounds, it is overall more charming and less annoying than he was to me in Broken Bow.

Also, it is interesting watching them wrangle with the Universal Translator (UT) still.

Blah blah blah. Hoshi faces her fears and decides to not give up on the Enterprise mission. And hopefully there will be less fretting about it in the future, because while I appreciate the focus on this reaction to space travel, rather than how confident they all are in later series, it is not that entertaining to watch.

Enterprise takes a brief detour, and Hoshi and the doctor drop the slug off on some other planet that is apparently similar to the one they abducted it from. This also seems very unwise to me (introducing an alien slug to some other planet, and also hoping it can fend for its lonely self), but okay.

Strange New World

From the episode list on Wikipedia: "A storm traps an away team on an alien world, while spores cause them to experience psychosis."

That about sums it up.

These are notes from watching this episode:

Do the cardinal directions still apply to alien planets? How do you decide which pole is north? Does it matter?
I would not let my dog romp ahead of my survey team on an unexplored planet. (Upon disembarking the shuttle pod on this Earth-like planet,Captain Archer lets his dog Porthos the beagle, who he has brought on the mission, roam ahead of them.)
Cameras still "click" in the 22nd century. Ahh, 2001... what a quaint time for technology. (Commander Tucker (Charles Tucker III, or Trip) has a camera and cheesily takes pictures like he's on a field trip. Which is exactly what I'd be doing, actually. Who'd've thought way back in 2001 when this episode was made that cameras wouldn't click anymore?)
Ooh, paranoia! (It starts off like a campout, complete with ghost stories, as the away team stays overnight on the planet. They get trapped in a storm and must take shelter in a cave, where they start to act super, duper paranoid. This makes Trip accuse T'Pol, who is less paranoid and who he still doesn't trust on account of being a smug Vulcan, of conspiring with invisible aliens that hide in the rocks and want to kill them. There is a standoff, and T'Pol must do some playacting to get Trip and the others to cooperate.)
Also, the crew manage to beam back a freaked out member of the landing party in the middle of the storm, but I guess some debris gets mixed in with him in the matter stream. Looks painful, but he ends up okay.
Hallucinogenic pollen. That explains everything. (There's a remedy beamed down.)

Moral of the story: "challenge your preconceptions or they'll challenge you" (What Trip's Vulcan science teacher, who he used to be afraid of, taught him).

Wait. So it isn't "beware of hallucinogenic pollen blown down from the mountains by freak windstorms when you set foot on unknown planets"?

Enterprise - Second First Impressions

2009-07-27T19:45:00.018-04:00

The Fall that Enterprise began to air, I was a new, full-time graduate student, working a full-time job on the midnight shift, in a new city. I have a slight but specific memory of watching Broken Bow, the Enterprise pilot episode, in my stuffy studio apartment one evening. I realized recently, though, that it might not have been possible that I was watching the episode in that setting, under quite those circumstances. I remembered, correctly, that it was a Wednesday night, and I know I hadn't started my new job yet, but I'm not sure I'd moved into that stuffy, studio apartment in Washington, DC, by September 26th, 2001. Where could I have watched it between couch surfing, sleeping in my car, making the long drive back to Connecticut for the large part of the week that I didn't have classes, and staying in the "hotel" near campus that had old rabbit ear TVs in some rooms? (I remember one night watching a beauty pageant on one of those TVs, but I picture myself in that studio apartment watching Enterprise...)

If my memories of the circumstances around watching the episode are questionable, could I trust my memories of my impression of the show itself?

But then I realized that my memories of the episode itself are... well, basically nonexistent, so I guess it doesn't matter. Whatever I had thought in September 2001 of Enterprise, clearly it did not hook me. I don't think I watched the whole pilot. I may have, out of some sense of duty, tuned in the next week and had the show playing in the background as I tried to get my life in order. Whatever it was, the show did not leave much of an impression on me except a notion of ... well, not digging it. I was vaguely put off by it.

A couple weeks ago, Disc One of the first season of Enterprise arrived from Netflix. Here we go...

The first thing I noticed when Broken Bow began was that it felt weird to have the show start out very Earthbound. "Well, durr, that's the point," I reminded myself. "They haven't even started exploring yet." Also, I initially had thought the title referred to the bow of a ship, not a place in Oklahoma likely named after, you know, an archery bow.

So, the gist of the plot is this: The very opening of the show features a young Jonny Archer, building a model of a ship with his Warp engineer dad, and expressing a dislike for the Vulcans who have been guiding humans move toward deep space travel since the events of First Contact 60 years earlier. Big Brother Vulcans seem to have been holding back baby brother Humans, who they think aren't ready yet to explore the far reaches of space using a Warp 5 vessel, even though in that short time, Earth has become peaceful and prosperous. Like, seriously . In First Contact, people are wearing ratty clothes and living in dusty, makeshift camp colonies built out of scraps, post WWIII. When Enterprise begins, Earth is pretty and green and abundant and boys build models with their engineer dads and everything is good.

Thirty more years later, a Klingon and some other aliens have a little bit of an action adventure chase on some poor guy's farm in Broken Bow, Oklahoma. The Klingon is injured. What to do? The Vulcans, aware of Klingon culture, want to let the Klingon just die, with honor, as is the Klingon way. The humans, of course, want to impose their own ethics on the situation and keep the Klingon alive, insisting that returning him to his home world even a little bit alive would be the better thing to do. Since the Vulcans can't really force the humans to do anything, Captain Jonathan Archer puts together his crew a little bit ahead of schedule and sets off to return the Klingon to Qo'Nos.

Here is where I noticed, in her first scene, female Vulcan Subcommander T'Pol's boobs are weirdly accentuated by her Vulcan outfit with its quilted top and jacket thing. Of course they are. She's going to be our resident sexy alien in a skintight space suit. We must meet her and her boobs right away.
Also, the Vulcans seem to have a little bit of personality and even express some subtle emotion, in my opinion, in their expressions and inflections. At least, moreso than I expect for a species who are known for suppressing all emotion in favor of logic, which is, to my recollection, too often demonstrated by an annoyingly flat affect. (Although, I'm getting ahead of myself. Most of this assessment is based on the few later Enterprise episodes I'd seen earlier this summer, and it might be a poor sample to judge on.) Anyway, the Vulcans seem smug and annoyed, which challenges my existing concept of Vulcans.
Zefram Cochrane is shown giving a speech 60 years after First Contact,and it is really interesting, having just watched that movie, seeing him as the hero the TNG crew idolized, -- a concept which the man himself, a self-interested drunkard during that era, had been reluctant to embrace.

And so, the Enterprise NX-01 sets off prematurely on its first mission out into deep space.

People get the first look at the Transporter. Understandably, they find it freaky.
Captain Archer sends the Enterprise NX-01 off on her voyage with the command "Let's go", which is much less exciting than "Engage!" or "Punch it!".
Dr. Phlox, who was treating the Klingon on Earth, is a Denobulan and is part of some kind of alien doctor exchange program, has come along as the ship's doctor. From the beginning, he is very annoying. "OPTIMISM, CAPTAIN!" he says to Archer, and his voice is far too similar to the goofy head alien Mathesar in the movie Galaxy Quest. Also, they seem to have done some CGI thing to his face to give him this creepy, creepy smile at the end of that scene.
Speaking of special effects -- more money and technology allows the crew to do wacky, show-offy things like demonstrate Zero G and fly around uncomfortably.
During a meal with the Captain and Chief Engineer Trip Tucker, Subcommander T'Pol, on board as the Science Officer (setting precedent for Spock?) informs us that Vulcans don't eat with their hands, and painfully uses her ability to master eating a crunchy breadstick with a knife and fork as a lesson that "With proper discipline, anything is possible." To which I say "Really? Weak!"
T'Pol and Hoshi (the ensign communications officer and genius linguist) are really bitchy to each other on the bridge.
Also, they acknowledge they are all speaking English (T'Pol says she was ordered to speak English after Hoshi rudely mutters something to her in Vulcan), instead of pretending there is a fabulously, miraculously effective Universal Translator (UT) properly functioning at all times. And they do refer to it as English, not, I don't know, "Earthican" or something.

So, on the voyage, stuff happens. The aliens (eerily named the Suliban, purportedly named after the Taliban, even before the 9/11 attacks made that a household name in America the very month the show premiered) that were after the Klingon at the beginning sneak aboard the Enterprise with their superior technology and genetic modifications that allow them to be very stealthy, and they steal back the Klingon. T'Pol thinks that since they can't complete their mission, they should go back to Earth, but Captain Archer decides to try to get their Klingon back. This brings them to some outpost on Rigel 10, where they poke around for a bit. They find another Suliban who is sympathetic, and she explains that they are in the midst of a... Temporal Cold War? Yeah... Anyway, more action and adventure ensue as they escape the other, angry Suliban.

Upon return from the Rigel 10 trade outpost, T'Pol and Trip apparently have been exposed to some kind of contaminant. They have to spend a bunch of time together in their underwear in this little, sexily blue-lit decon room, rubbing gel all over each other. Really, Enterprise? What is this show rated, with this weirdly sexual gel-rubbing? (Also? Visible nipples are totally distracting.)
Early on, they are clearly throwing Trip, the Vulcan-distrusting human, and T'Pol, the smug Vulcan, together.
Hoshi embodies the apprehension and anxiety about going on these missions. It is something you don't see in the later crews, of course, who know what they are getting into, and is one of the things that I think is supposed to set this series apart from the others.

T'Pol is able to modify the sensors so they can track the Suliban ship to some crazy Suliban compound at a gas giant planet. Because they don't have Tractor Beams, they use "the Grappler," a giant cable thing that shoots out of the ship and attaches to stuff, (I want to call it "The CLAW!") to nab a Suliban shuttle and get on the compound and get their Klingon back. And they have to use the Transporter for the very first time to save the Captain at the last minute. The crew delivers the Klingon to Qo'Nos, where he is able to deliver his special message about the Temporal Cold War... blah blah blah.

And, because of their success, Starfleet allows the NX-01 to continue on a mission of exploration, and the Vulcans let them keep T'Pol.

What I've learned:

Vulcans are patronizing a-holes who don't like to eat with their hands.
Humans have a lot to learn about cultural relativism still in 22nd century.
Space travel is exciting and scary.
Alien microbe decontamination requires slathering gel on each other in our underpants in a dark room (not a special shower, for instance).
If I can eat a crunchy breadstick with a fork, I can do anything.*

*Especially if I have Faith of the Heart.

From Apollo to Enterprise - it takes some Faith of the Heart

2009-07-21T12:52:00.020-04:00

A little over a week ago, I started watching the first season of Enterprise. At the beginning, it was simply called Enterprise, because the creators I guess thought there were already enough shows and movies with Star Trek Colon Name of Installment for their titles, and they wanted to distinguish the new show from them. Eventually, the show's title would take on the traditional format, but at the beginning, this was new. Oooh!

Another way this show was being distinguished from the others was by having an earnest, rock-ish theme song with lyrics over the opening credits, rather than a sweeping, orchestral piece. And this, among Trekkers and Trekkies, was controversial. I remember when I first tuned in to Enterprise to give the first episode a shot, I found the theme song a little corny and off-putting. Did I hate it? I don't recall. It didn't feel "right" to me, though. I wonder now if it was a factor in how much I was underwhelmed or put-off by that first episode of Enterprise, and if it contributed to why I didn't tune in for the second episode (truthfully, I'm not even sure I finished watching the first when it aired).

Last month, while visiting the Reverend Seminarian Rachel at Seminary in Philadelphia, we went to the Franklin Institute to see the Star Trek exhibit there. For an additional six bucks each, we bought tickets for a silly little shuttle craft simulator ride. The line for it was unexpectedly slow, giving plenty of time to read the vast Star Trek timeline lining the wall while various Trek theme songs played on a loop. The Enterprise song, "Where My Heart Will Take Me", of course stood out from the others. Our reaction was basically "Meh. Whatever, corny soft rock song with words." It still didn't feel like Star Trek. However, it was surprisingly infectious and it replayed in my mind for days.

When I started watching Enterprise last week, I decided to make myself sit through the entire opening credits and song, at least for the first several episodes. It was, after all, part of the show. Could I get something out of it? Indeed, I did.

Even though it was kind of cheesy, I think I "got" it this time around. I didn't need to listen to all of the lyrics (it was hard not to tune them out, and I still haven't paid close attention to them all while listening) to understand that theme song was an effort to demonstrate what made Enterprise different from other iterations of Star Trek. This was a world before we could become space cowboys in a sweeping space opera. This was a mere 90 years since Zefram Cochrane's first warp flight - less than a lifetime for some - and here we, humans, were about to embark on the exploration of other worlds in outer space. The crew of the Enterprise NX-01 were more like us, the real humans of the 21st century, than any other Star Trek characters in time, culture, and experience. What would be more relateable than a cheesy, earnest rock ballad?
If you've never had the pleasure (or tune it out like I do), here are the lyrics, courtesy of some internet site I got when I just googled for them:
(Theme from TV series Enterprise, also known as Faith Of the Heart) Lyrics by Diane Warren

It's been a long road, getting from there to here. It's been a long time, but my time is finally near. And I can feel the change in the wind right now. Nothing's in my way. And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna hold me down.

Cause I've got faith of the heart. I'm going where my heart will take me. I've got faith to believe. I can do anything. I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me. I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart.

It's been a long night. Trying to find my way. Been through the darkness. Now I finally have my day. And I will see my dream come alive at last. I will touch the sky. And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna change my mind.

Cause I've got faith of the heart. I'm going where my heart will take me. I've got faith to believe. I can do anything. I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me. I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart.

I've known the wind so cold, I've seen the darkest days. But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change. I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain. But I'll be fine ...

Cause I've got faith of the heart. I'm going where my heart will take me. I've got faith to believe. I can do anything. I've got strength of the soul. And no one's gonna bend or break me. I can reach any star. I've got faith, faith of the heart.

How can we NOT root for the crew of the Enterprise? They've got FAITH. Of the HEART. And Strength of the Soul! And they CAN reach any star!
This week is the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission, when humans set foot on the moon, and I can't help but think what that must have been like. This was a life-changing event for every man, woman, and child who witnessed it. Forty years ago, children could look out their bedroom windows, families from their back porches, scientists and amateurs alike watching through their telescopes, into the night sky, at the MOON, where some dudes were actually walking around! We, as a society, went from boastful aspirations of breaking the bounds of Earth to setting foot on another celestial body in less than a decade. And you know how? Because we had faith of the heart and strength of the soul and all that stuff in the song. (Also: ego, fear, competitiveness, and many other things not mentioned in the song.)

I imagine, to quote the first line of the song, that when the NX-01 takes flight, it HAS been "a long road, getting from there to here." I think about how, in this fictional universe, less than a lifetime from now we'd be making first contact and setting the events in motion that would bring peace and prosperity to our whole planet and open up the universe for us to explore.

So, this theme song, with its words, can express that at this point, as we confront ambiguity and ambivalence and wonder as we embark on this journey deeper into space, we are still a cheesy soft-rock song. In a few generations, we'll have evolved into a bold, lush, epic orchestration.

Don't get me wrong. I don't love the song. But I can appreciate how it fits into the grander narrative. Maybe that is a function of the sequence in which I'm watching the shows. Maybe I've grown and have had more time to reflect. Maybe I need to justify its existence. Whatever it is, I'm okay with it. And from this point on, several episodes in, I am going to feel free to fast-forward past it.

I do have a lingering objection to it, though. It wasn't even an original song. Maybe it was the right song and they didn't need to write a new one. But this song was previously recorded by Rod Stewart under the title "Faith of the Heart" for the movie Patch Adams. Seriously, Star Trek? Boo.

First Contact

2009-07-14T12:06:00.007-04:00

Last Thursday, I began my quest to watch all of the Star Trek movies and TV series in continuity order. I started with First Contact because the majority of the action (everything but the first few minutes) takes place in 2063, when the Enterprise-E crew must intervene to restore the proper course of history after Borg conveniently traveled back in time to do some meddling and assimilating. I thought that would make sense (especially since I'm already familiar with the characters and the general Star Trek historical time line), and I know that they kind of integrate details from this intrusion into the past in episodes of Enterprise, closing the loop between the series. After watching it, though, I sort of feel like it would have been more appropriate to watch it where it would fit into the 24th century portion of the time line, since the point was the PREVENTION of disruption of the history, rather than the establishment of new events. It doesn't really matter, particularly since I'm aware of it all, but it probably would frame the narrative a little differently.

As for the movie? This was I think the TNG movie that I enjoyed the most the first time around. It had the convenient, wackadoo time travel plot (like JJ Abrams' reboot, but without the alternate time line consequences), some effective action and effects, and stayed true to the characters and the Star Trek ideals. What would have made it even better for me? Completely eliminating the gross Borg Queen parts. I remember hating them the first time around, and while the idea that borgifying Data would require incorporating organic elements rather than technological components to make him a cyborg is interesting, the whole rest of that Borg Queen plot line was creepy and unnecessary and made me uncomfortable, and I never liked how the establishment of a Queen in the hive changed my perception of the Borg.

I originally posted this elsewhere, and there were some interesting comments, so I am including them below. If you were an original commenter and do not want yours included, let me know and I will delete it. There are slight edits, and anonymity is preserved.

Commenter 1:

I always had some issues with the Queen portion of the programme as well. Although I ADORED the "add organic, make cyborg" twist to the usual concept.

(also, I hate Data-with-emotions, but that's neither here nor there)

Amie:

(also, I hate Data-with-emotions, but that's neither here nor there)

Oh, agreed. Data trying to understand emotions = compelling mirror turned on humanity. Data WITH emotions = cheesetastic, in a squirmy way, not an awesome way.

That movie would have been fine (IMO better) without the Borg queen. The whole Trek universe would be better off for it, I think.

Commenter 2:

I always thought the Queen was the results of them messing with Hugh, and Lore messing with the Borg.

Still very weird. The Borg were a lot more menacing as just a faceless voice with billions of soldiers behind it.

I see you decided not to go with Star Trek IV: The One With the Whales as the first in continuity.

Amie:

Still very weird. The Borg were a lot more menacing as just a faceless voice with billions of soldiers behind it.

It is much harder for us to conceptualize the collective mind as it was. I almost want to call them "mindless" soldiers following that "faceless voice", but what makes it so discomfiting is that they weren't mindless, but were part of that hive mind that we cannot experience. Giving it some weird, central "organizing force" that completely upends that by speaking in the first person and trying to seduce Data and messing around with feelings just didn't work for me.

I see you decided not to go with Star Trek IV: The One With the Whales as the first in continuity

Yeah... that. I saw that one as a kid and of course had less of a problem with it than I anticipate I will upon intentional re-watch (I've caught bits and pieces of it again over the years, but not with any attention being devoted to it)... I sort of arbitrarily decided it was not necessary to watch it first. I thought about it, but for whatever reason just decided to ignore it. It actually bugs me that I am not consistent in my approach!

ETA: Also, I'm on the fence about including the animated series.

Commenter 2:

The animated series is usually regarded as outside canon--I'd put it on the same level as some of the better ST books.

ST:IV is part of a larger story involving ST:II and ST:III, so it makes more sense to watch those three in order.

Yeah, Data with the emotions was a little weird... but I did love the Enterprise-E. That's a great ship.

Commenter 1:

I just mentioned your project to my fellow-nerd coworker, and he REALLY wants you to blog this project as you go through it.

Also, he pointed out an interesting conundrum - if you're starting with First Contact because it contains a lot of content from the past, then wouldn't you have to start the whole shebang with that double episode of TNG set in 1800s San Francisco, with Mark Twain and Guinan? Interesting way to frame it...

Amie:

Yeah, there are some other continuity/time travel/etc issues through all the series ... It would have been too problematic to take individual episodes out of the various series that do indeed take place in another point in time (forward and back, potentially), I think. Punting First Contact up to the head of my Netflix queue is much easier than isolating those episodes and obtaining the correct disc from the correct season and ordering those.

I really probably should have just left FC where it fell in the 24th century, but oh well. What is done is done!

Commenter 1:

DTA theorized that you'd only have to include episodes that start in the past if you were to organize individual episodes chronologically - that woudl eliminate a lot of time-travel-ep reogranization. As far as we can remember, all the TOS episodes that dealt with time travel started and ended on the ship, in "proper" chronology, and there were only 4-5 eps of TNG and other series that started and ended in the past.

But I can see where the practical logistical issues would outweigh other considerations. ;-)

Commenter 3:

I believe Jack, Kate, Hurley, Locke, Charlie, Claire, Sayid, Sawyer, Sun and Jin are feeling a little hurt that they are not as important as Kirk and Spock and Data and Riker and all those other names I don't know or can't remember! :)

(I kid, I kid)

Amie:

Hee. I actually did feel guilty about it. This probably wouldn't be happening if I hadn't started watching episodes of Enterprise on Sci Fi last month and then they stopped them! My plan is to really get Enterprise out of my system first, and then really devote myself more to Lost for a while. I thought "Oh, just do Lost first" but I KNOW I'd be distracted thinking about Star Trek.

My name is Amie, and I watch TV

2009-07-11T19:18:00.013-04:00

So, last weekend I came up with this insane "project" for myself.

First, some background:
I was a moderately big Star Trek geek in my young teen years. I was primarily pretty attached to TNG, and had little invested in TOS, and when DS9 came along I liked that a lot but for whatever reason my attachment had begun to fade. By the end of season 3 of DS9 I stopped watching entirely. I think it had taken a darker turn than I was ready for in my Trek universe. I watched maybe half of the first season of Voyager. When Enterprise entered the scene, not only was I just not as into the whole Trek thing so much anymore, it was also a time in my life not conducive to embarking on a new television attachment. I think I saw one or two episodes of Enterprise before this summer.

Fast forward to now, when the new Star Trek "reboot" (ugh...) comes along. Until I walked into the theater the afternoon I saw it, I wasn't sure I was going to bother seeing it. I just didn't know how to feel. I appreciated and respected TOS, but it hadn't been what I'd been as attached to. But I was feeling nostalgic for that geekiness and what that universe gave to me. There was a little bit of a hole left where Star Trek had been in my life. I saw the new movie, and really enjoyed it, and saw it again. Then I saw it on IMAX (well, listened, actually, since watching it made me queasy) in Philadelphia while visiting a friend, and attending the Star Trek exhibit at the Franklin Institute. I spent money on silly souvenir photos and a t-shirt.

Sci Fi network was showing Enterprise most days, so I started recording it. I started recording some TNG episodes to have on hand for whenever, too. I was just really getting into Enterprise, when I discovered last week that there were no new episodes recording. I checked the Sci Fi schedule and Enterprise was no where to be found for the next month or so. I was sad.

Well, that's what Netflix was invented for, so I reactivated my temporarily suspended account and added all of Enterprise. Then I started thinking "I never saw a lot of DS9 and Voyager, either. I should add those." Then I started thinking about how Enterprise is at the beginning of the chronology, and how they kind of closed some continuity loops between the events in that series and some of the "later" movies and episodes.

It hit me: I SHOULD WATCH ALL OF STAR TREK CHRONOLOGICALLY.
(within the continuity of the universe, that is...)

Well, I looked up some information and did some math and I think it amounts to over 550 hours of Star Trek... so this isn't a summer project. This might take me a couple of years...

In addition to this crazy Star Trek idea, I also am planning on watching all of Lost, leading up to the final upcoming season. I've only seen bits and pieces of an episode or two of Lost, and I've borrowed the first 4 seasons on DVD, the 5th will come out this winter, and my mission is to catch up on all of it before the final season. This will be a different experience than the Star Trek watching project, because while I have a passing familiarity with what Lost is about (I read general TV news and hear conversations here and there), watching it will be an entirely new thing to me. I get to experience all of its wonders and frustrations as new discoveries. With Star Trek, although there are a lot of episodes in the various incarnations I haven't seen, and a lot that I haven't seen in a long time, I have a comfort and familiarity with its universe. One of the reasons I was so disappointed that Enterprise stopped airing on Sci Fi recently was because I was getting kind of a charge out of having that to discover anew as the Trek series I'd never watched before.

So, now, I think, until I get too distracted or eventually, possibly bored with it, my new hobby is going to be watching a ton of Star Trek and Lost.

I mentioned this idea to some friends, and they seemed to think it was crazy enough to be entertaining. That's where this blog comes in. Here's the thing. I like TV. I watch TV. I'm an educated woman who likes to read and do other things, but I like TV and I care about it. I'm not engaging in serious criticism or analysis. But I will post my reflections as I watch hundreds of hours of Star Trek and Lost , and possibly other shows if I'm moved to do so.

Welcome aboard for my 630 hour journey through Star Trek and Lost ... Engage!